* True Blood
* The Tudors
* Rome
* Boardwalk Empire
* Dexter
* The Walking Dead
* Breaking Bad
* Mad Men
* Brotherhood
or
* American Horror Story
I will love to discuss them all with you in detail when I finish them all by the end of the year 2021; at which time you will hopefully be reading "Ryan's Favorite TV Shows of All Time, Ten Year Anniversary."
Without further adieu, my favorite TV Show of all Time...........
1. Survivor (2000 - Present) - Sometimes it is hard for me to decide if it really is the show "Survivor" that I love so much, or is it simply Jeff Probst. Jeff Probst is, without a doubt, the coolest guy in the entire world. If I could be any person in the history of people it would be Probst. Not only does he get to host my favorite television show of all time, but his previous gig before "Survivor" was a little game show called "Rock & Roll Jeopardy." He literally has my dream life. He is also obsessed with blue shirts, just like me. If the stars are ever aligned just right, and I get the chance to meet him, I hope I have the strength to not burst into tears and tell him how much I love him. That would not be very manly, and probably a little off-putting for him. Many people know that if I could play a game of Blackjack with anyone in the world it would be Brandon Flowers (lead singer of the Killers), and if I could have a beer with anybody in the world, it would be Stephen Jenkins (lead singer of Third Eye Blind.) However, if I could have a beer AND play Poker or Blackjack with anyone in the world, Jeff Probst would be my only choice. I would even refuse to pick a number two. Jeff Probst or bust!
I suppose the only chance I have at becoming Probsts' friend and him actually wanting to play Poker and have some beers with me is to get on Survivor, not quit, because he really hates that, make him laugh a few times at the challenges and tribal, and then maybe I'll have a chance.
Anyway, "Survivor" wins this countdown in a landslide. It was a dream of mine to be on the show years ago, but was often too lazy to send in the application. The older I get, the less desirable it looks, but the better I think I would be on the show. I firmly believe that there is a zero percent chance that if I was on the show that I would not make it to the final 2 or 3. There is not a scenario on Earth where I would let people vote me out of a game where you have to be social, competitive, and strategic. I am a student of the game and use the Survivor format anywhere and everywhere my undiagnosed ADD starts settling in. When I was in college classes I would make lists of the entire class and predict who would be voted off first, second, third, etc. and also WHY they would be voted off.)
ex. The nerdy kid in the back that always wears black would be voted off first because he scares everyone. The Old Lady front and center would be voted off second because everyone hates her because she always makes class last longer.
The snotty, stuck up, good looking girl in the corner will be voted off third because she is mean to the poor professor when (God forbid) he asks her a question.
and so on.......
As luck would have it, I won EVERY SINGLE Survivor: College Class game that I played in all 5 years of college. Damn, I was SO GOOD at that game.
I often play in Church. For some reason Church brings out the ADD in me like something awful. I try to pay attention, but after just a few seconds my mind is off drifting to Survivor: St. Pius.
Example #1
Priest - "Let us now offer each other a sign of peace."
NORMAL CHURCH-GOERS - "Peace be with you" (gross, he just sneezed right into his hand, I saw him.) "Peace be with you." (Good God her hands are clammy) "Peace be with you" (OMG, look how disgusting his fingernails are.) Etc.
Example #2
Priest - "Let us now offer each other a sign of peace."
Me at Church - "Peace be with you" (you were the first person voted out of Survivor: Church because you refuse to take your bratty kid to the cry room. It was a UNANIMOUS VOTE!)
"Peace be with you" (you just missed out on making the Survivor: Church jury because you kept coughing during the homily and nobody could hear the priest. You were flying under the radar for a while, and if you brought a throat lozenge with you, you easily could have made it to family visit week.)
"Peace be with you" (Great game, you really had the jury for a while there. However, when you made the foolish mistake of insisting that the jury give all their votes to your son, you really blew it." Thanks mom!
My mom and I are ALWAYS the final two whenever I play Survivor: Christmas Eve Mass
* I will make a confession. I have to back stab my beautiful, adorable, perfect little angels that are my nephews, Andrew and Liam. I take them all the way to the final 5 with me, but there is NO WAY I could beat them in a Survivor: Christmas Eve jury vote. Their Christmas vests are just too cute, I wouldn't even get a single vote considering I am usually half drunk and disheveled.
You get the point. I play "Survivor" in my head everywhere I go. I play it every single day at work. If a student runs up to my desk with a note that says he or she is a walker that day, as if, if I did not know that the SECOND they walked into the room then the world would end, they are the first person voted out of "Survivor: 4th Grade" that day.
If a student asks a particularly stupid question that was just answered 100 times, they are voted out of the classroom.
If a student does chores for me or goes to my car for me when I forget my Ice Coffee in it every other morning, then I make a secret, silent alliance with them and bring them to the very end.
Today was the 67th day of school this year and I have won every game so far.
My point is, CBS and Mark Burnett, that I would be the greatest Survivor ever, as I am about 3,000-0 in the games I have already played in my head.
Much like Big Brother, I could easily rank every Survivor to ever play the game, and I will. In time. For now, let me leave you with some of my favorite moments in Survivor History.
Most Epic Reality TV moment ever!
Rhode Island's own, Rich Hatch taking home the dough.
I know I may exaggerate from time to time, but from 8:07 - 8:57 is my :50 least favorite seconds in the history of television.
| "Jasmin is just a piece of work. Jasmin has a big mouth, Jasmin smells bad, she's got really poor grammar. I think Jasmin is… pretty close to being… a hooker." - Ben Browning Never, in the history of time, has there ever been a quote out of anyone's mouth that made me love a person more than this quote. To make it even FUNNIER, is her name is not "Jasmin" it is "Yasmin." He couldn't even get her name right. BEN BROWNING for PRESIDENT!!!! I love this guy! I could go on and on about the great moments, and the awesome and awful castaways, and how much I love Jeff Probst, but it is December and I need to officially end my TV countdown and prepare for the END OF THE YEAR SPECTACULAR. My 20 favorite bands of the year. My 50 Favorite Alt Rock songs of the year. My 25 favorite "other" songs of the year. and my Top 20 Albums of the year. Hopefully I can begin later this week. I promise that later on in 2012 I will go into great detail about the Survivor castaways and Big Brother house guests, but now is not the time. Also, be sure to check back at Ryan's Countdowns in 2021 for the 10 year anniversary update of my Favorite TV Shows of All Time. Thanks for Reading. Oh, and don't forget to click on the advertisements. Every time you click on an add a homeless child gets a free pair of pants. Fine, I'm kidding, a homeless child does not get a pair of pants, but, I do get a bit of change and if I save up, maybe I can buy myself something real nice for all the hard work I put into making my blog for your entertainment! Thanks again for reading, - Ryan P.S. - I would like to take this time to wish a VERY happy anniversary to............ myself and Ryanscountdowns.blogspot.com . Yes, one year ago today the magic began. Hopefully this next year will bring us much more laughter and alone time!!!!!!!!!!!!! R-Jac, OUT! |
omg i am laughing so hard, my face hurts
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