Survivor: San Juan Del Sur, Finale

After 29 seasons and almost 500 tribal councils, "Survivor" continues to be my favorite show on television, and here is why. While a Natalie victory has been almost inevitable for weeks now, that does not mean the season finale was void of surprises. The final 5 tribal was intense, and Natalie using the hidden idol on Jaclyn was probably the best moment of the season. 

This season was as good as it could possibly have been considering the lack of game players that were cast. It is almost impossible to tell if Natalie is one of the greatest players to ever play the game, or if she just looked like a mastermind because of the people she played against. If Natalie did not win this season, it would have gone down as one of the worst, but she was by far the most deserving winner, and justice was served. 

For the final countdown, I will rank all of the castaways based on a combination of the following 3 categories:

* Gameplay - How well they played the game strategically. 

* Like-ability - Not necessarily ranked by my favorites, but an overall general consensus of how well they are liked by the public, to the best of my knowledge, based on conversations, both face to face, and on message boards.

* Likelihood of them being asked back for an All-Star season. 

18. Dale

Generally speaking, older castaways usually serve one of three purposes...

1) The nice father/mother figure that breaks the heart of fellow castaways, and all of America when they are voted out. 

NOT DALE.

2) The funny, comic relief on the show, which often propels them to the very top of the lists of many people's favorite castaways.

NOT DALE.

3) The grumpy, ornery,  old man that nobody is rooting for and nobody could care less when they are voted out. 

A.K.A. DALE

Gameplay - 15/18

Like-ability - 18/18

All Star Potential - 17/18

17. Julie

I remember the first episode Julie stated, "I don't want to be known as the girl with the big boobs and John Rocker's girlfriend." Well, don't worry Julie, now you are known as "John Rocker's girlfriend, trail mix stealer, and Survivor quitter...with big boobs."

Gameplay - 18/18

Like-ability - 13/18

All-Star Potential - 18/18

16. Val

You can't fault a girl for trying. And Val tried... hard. Sure she got a raw deal by having to spend the first few days on "exile" island, but so did Keith, and he made it to the final 4. Val's "I have 2 immunity idols" scheme was, in hind sight, a game ending decision. Due to the fact that most of her screen time was spent trying to dig herself out of the gigantic hole she dug for herself the first few days of the game, we didn't really get to know Val, which is a shame because she seems likable enough to root for. 

Gameplay - 17/18

Like-ability - 12/18

All-Star Potential - 16/18

15. John Rocker

When I saw that John Rocker was going to be a part of Survivor, my first reaction was to roll my eyes and try to prevent myself from gagging. Now that John Rocker has been on Survivor, I still feel the exact same way. He is about as likable as a North Korean leader, and, besides his "fight" with Natalie, brought nothing worthwhile to the show. The next time Survivor decides to cast a "controversial celebrity" on the show, can they at least make sure the person has the capability to crack a few jokes, or maybe even smile once in a while?


Gameplay - 12/18
Like-ability - 17/18
All-Star Potential - 15/18

14. Drew

Typically when Jeff Probst does not get to speak to every castaway at the reunion, I get upset. Like, really?! You could not find 30 seconds to spend on each of the castaways to hear what their thoughts are? This year, however, I had literally, absolutely NO desire to hear from anyone on the top row. In fact, if Drew didn't even show up at the reunion, I doubt anyone would have even wondered where he was. Someone that can't even take the time to learn his tribe mates names, has no business playing this game, and needs no recognition at the reunion special. 

Gameplay - 16/18

Like-ability - 11/18

All-Star Potential - 14/18

13. Nadiya

Nadiya played the game as hard as her sister, Natalie, but the difference is that she played too hard the first 3 days, and Natalie played hard once playing hard became acceptable. In Nadiya's defense, Natalie didn't have to start playing hard until week 4, as her tribe kept winning immunity. However, Nadiya opened her mouth way too much, and way too soon, and she paid the ultimate price for it. Look for Natalie and Nadiya on Big Brother this summer and expect Nadiya to pull out a win. Maybe then, their parents will love them both equally again. 

Gameplay - 13/18

Like-ability - 15/18

All-Star Potential - 11/18 (will they really invite Natalie back without Nadiya??)

12. Alec

No, this is not a photo of Jesus looking down in awe at Missy for saying a Survivor jury is as important as a murder trial jury; it's Alec, the most useless castaway this season. Either Alec smuggled in some of the most amazing San Jun Del Sur'ian weed of all time and was stoned for 39 days, or he has the greatest case of "resting moron face" of all time.


Gameplay - 14/18
Like-ability - 9/18
All-Star Potential - 12/18 (only because the people may demand more of Alec's resting moron face.)




11. Missy

While Missy played one of the best games as far as getting to the final 3 is concerned, she must have forgotten about the part of the game that you need to actually receive votes from the jury in order to win. Missy had a relatively easy run the first 34 days of the game, but her final 5 days may have been the most challenging 5 days for any Survivor yet. Missy breaks her ankle during a reward challenge (that a 8 year old boy created)!, her daughter gets blindsided on day day 37, she gets torn a new one by bitter jury member, Reed, on day 39, and gets exactly one vote to win; from her daughter.
Hopefully her exposure on the show can help her find her next husband, and hopefully he has the best prenuptial agreement that one can have.


Gameplay - 7/18
Like-ability - 14/18

All-Star Potential - 10/18



10. Wes

As far as Wes's Survivor experience is concerned, he will be remembered for the following things.

* Being the son of Keith.

* Eating too many tacos and drinking so many margaritas that he threw up.

* Asking Jeff Probst if he remembers being naked on the set of "Two and a Half Men."

That is all.


Game play - 11/18
Like-ability - 6/18
All-Star Potential - 13/18



9. Baylor

Girls like Baylor are exactly the reason why Survivor has an age limit of 21 years old. They do, however, occasionally break their own rule when they are casting as part of a twist, so they allowed Baylor on the show even though she is still 20 years old. While that was great for our entertainment, it will probably scar Baylor for life, as she came across as a brat that nobody remotely liked.

She was a decent strategist, but like her mother, was only playing for a spot in the final three, and completely ignoring the fact that the jury would need to send votes her way if she wanted to win. Baylor would have received exactly zero votes if she was in Jaclyn's place, and Natalie would have had a clean sweep of the 8 jury votes.

Maybe Baylor, and her mother, were banking on a final 2, in which the jury would be forced to choose between Missy and Baylor. In a season of bargaining with Probst, this would have been the best offer yet, as the entire jury would ask Probst if they could cut off their own hands rather than write down Missy's or Baylor's name to win the game.


Game play - 5/18
Like-ability - 16/18
All-Star Potential - 8/18



8. Kelley

It is a shame that Kelley did not last longer in the game. We really only got to see her share her distaste for Drew, and hear about her turbulent relationship with her father, Dale. Basically, the above picture sums up Kelley's feelings towards all of the men on the show with her.


Game play - 9/18
Like-ability - 8/18
All-Star Potential - 9/18



7. Jeremy

There was always a very good chance that Jeremy was either going to be one of the first jury members, or he was going to win the game. Unfortunately, for him, it was not the latter. It was Jeremy's closest ally, however, that ended up not only winning, but dominating the game. I would be very surprised if Jeremy was not asked back for a future season, and I would be shocked if he did not win. He has learned from his mistakes, and he will not let it happen again. Plus, look at how much fun he always looked like he was having? How can he not want to do this again?


Game play - 6/18
Like-ability - 9/18
All-Star Potential - 3/18


6. Josh

For the first 4 episodes Josh was a shoo-in for most all-star worthy. It seems, however, that once the merge took place, Josh lost his steam and almost began to give up hope. We didn't see the drive in him that we saw in his boyfriend, Reed, when Reed was in do-or-die situations. If they do a Blood vs. Water all stars in a few years, Josh and Reed will return to play again. If they do not, Josh is probably done with Survivor. He did just get a role on Broadway's "Dr. Zhivago", and may become too big of a Broadway star (that is a thing, right?) to return to Survivor.


Game play - 8/18
Like-ability - 3/18
All-Star Potential - 6/18



5. Reed

Reed has had one of the most bizarre runs on Survivor that I can remember. He was invisible for the first half of the season, and a break out star the second half of the season, only to end his time on the show by delivering one of the most memorable speeches in Survivor history. I need to see Reed on the show again, and will write a strongly worded letter to casting if I don't get that opportunity. 

Reed's Survivor Entertainment Timeline

Game play - 4/18
Like-ability - 7/18
All-Star Potential - 5/18




4. Jaclyn

Jaclyn's time on Survivor was much like Reed's. She was also invisible until the merge, and was predicted to be "the next to go" by many people for the first 5 weeks of the game. She, too, ended up being a star, especially with her final immunity challenge victory when she miraculously managed to beat two of the season's best competitors. America's reaction when Jaclyn won final immunity (nearly snapping in half jumping from a platform in the process) ......

Gameplay - 3/18

Like-ability - 5/18

All-Star Potential - 7/18

3. Keith

Keith was by far the biggest character this season, and I will eat my hat if we have seen the last of Keith on Survivor. He was a challenge superstar, and flew just enough under the radar that he soared to the final 5. We got more footage of Keith spitting than we see throughout an entire 7 game World Series, and more memorable one liners than an entire season of Saturday Night Live. Can we please get our first ever spin-off show from Survivor? "Keith and his Firehouse Buddies" has a great ring to it. 

Game play - 10/18

Like-ability - 1/18

All-Star Potential - 2/18

2. Jon

No matter whether you loved or hated Jon, you can't deny that he was an essential part of this season.  He and Jaclyn had more people begging for their vote than an independent, senile, senior citizen walking into the voting poll on election day. 

Jon was my personal favorite all season, and, to me, was the most relatable and down to earth one in the bunch. He (and Jaclyn) were the deciding vote at many tribal councils and single-handedly led his team to many victories pre-merge.  If I never reach my goal of becoming a sommelier, Jon will be the first person I would want choosing my bottles of wine for me. 

Game play - 2/18

Like-ability - 2/18

All-Star Potential - 4/18

1. Natalie

Regardless if Natalie ended up winning the season or not, she still would be number one in this countdown. Weeks ago I made the claim that not only would Natalie win this season, but she will come back and win another season. Natalie was the star of San Juan Del Sur and even if she ended up in fourth or fifth place, she still would have been thought of as the player of the year. Who does not want to get a beer with Natalie? Because even though I would be scared to death that I would say something she wouldn't agree with, and she would yell at me, she still seems like a hell of a lot of fun to be around, and I am sure drunk Natalie would be as entertaining as one could get. 

I will accept any and all forms of recognition when Natalie is crowned the winner of Survivor: All-Stars 2. 

Game play - 1/18

Like-ability - 4/18

All-Star Potential - 1/18

Survivor: San Juan Del Sur, Episode 13

I had a multitude of feelings running through me as I watched the penultimate episode of Survivor: San Juan Del Sur. Anger though, is what best summarizes my emotions towards the episode. Was I angry that my favorite castaway was blindsided at tribal council? Of course I was. Was I angry that the producers make-shifted a hurricane, which led to Jon losing the immunity challenge? You bet I was. Was I angry that Jon won the reward challenge, got yelled at by his girlfriend for being happy about it, and then gave up his reward to Baylor, of all people? Hell yes! But what angered me the most about this episode had nothing to do with the 6 remaining castaways vying for the title of sole Survivor. I was seething with rage that I never knew I was getting screwed over by the spa I have frequented for nearly 6 years. SPA FOOD?!?!?!?! Seared steak, brownies, and cookies are spa food?!?! I have been paying a pretty penny for my semi-annual visits to Norwich Spa at Foxwoods (ask for Rebecca, she is amazing) for quite some time now, and the only "spa food" I have ever received was maybe an apple that I snatched from a bowl of fruit in the men's locker room and some cold mini water bottles from the refrigerator. I feel cheated. 

I am also quite pissed Jon has been voted out. 

Jeff Probst's Spa Food

My Spa Food

(In Survivor Memorium)

How I looked when Jon was voted off. And the day after I drink too much wine. 

The only solace I have in Jon's elimination is the fact that I have seen this coming for the past few weeks. While this was not a huge surprise to me, it still stings that he got voted off with an idol in his pocket. Jon has been my favorite since day 1 despite the fact that I am not sure if he became my favorite because I was drawn to his humor and kind hearted spirit, or if it is because I simply did not really like anybody else. Week after week, however, he confirmed why he was my favorite, as he is competitive, but not malicious, has a solid sense of humor, and loves wine. Also, his forgiveness for his alliance voting him off was classy and it takes a real man to admit he was outplayed.  He is basically a slightly less perfect me. But just slightly. 

Hopefully he has done enough to secure his spot on a future season, and they better have stocked the jury house with the finest of wines from all over the world, as he deserves absolutely nothing less.

(The remaining castaways in order of the likelihood of being the sole Survivor.)

5. Jaclyn

This is how I imagine Jaclyn will be spending the rest of her time on Survivor.

I am extremely confident that there is not a final 3 or a final 2 scenario that would have Jaclyn coming out on top. Her confidence this week became cockiness as she stated at tribal council that "her or Jon were not going anywhere." There is nothing a bitter jury hates more than cockiness and self-righteousness. If Jaclyn miraculously wins two immunities in a row and is in the final three, the jury will more than likely declare that she rode Jon's coattail through the game, and she will receive exactly one vote; Jon's. Although Alec may send a vote Jaclyn's way should he believe it would increase his chances of hanging out in Orlando with her post show.

Bottom line: Jaclyn's chances of winning Survivor are about as good as they were after episode 3 when nobody even knew who she was yet.



4. Baylor

How Baylor will look as Probst is reading the votes for the winner and Baylor sees her mother's name written more than hers.

At this point I don't see a single jury member voting for Baylor when she is in the final 3. But, she will be sitting there, that is for certain. I am sure we will hear the jury complain about choosing between the lesser of two evils, and if they are forced to choose between Baylor or her mother, they would rather have Missy win than Baylor.

Bottom line: The ONLY way Baylor can win is if she is in the final 3 with Jaclyn and Missy and before Probst reads the votes for the winner, Missy declares that she has legally changed Baylor's name to Missy, and she has legally changed her own name to her twitter handle, "looking4luv4."



3. Missy

Missy, at the final tribal council, begging the jury to vote for Baylor.

Missy has played a great game, and if she was just a bit more likable, she would have this in the bag. Unfortunately, for Missy, she does not seem to be that likable, and that will cost her a million dollars. She may get a few votes to win depending on which of the final 5 is on the jury, but unless she is against Jaclyn and Baylor, she, too, stands no chance at winning the game.
This week, however, she did impress me with her determination to push through her pain. There is no doubt about it, Missy is a fighter; which may also explain her 3 failed attempts at marriage.



2. Keith

The face of a champion? Quite possibly.


Keith is two immunity challenges away from winning Survivor. If he is in the final 3, he wins. Hands down, no questions asked. And the only thing that stands in his way of winning those two immunities is one half of the most famous Sri-Lankan-American twinnies of all time; Natalie. Keith already has votes from Josh, Reed, Alec, Wes, and the only person that could even give him a run for his money in terms of receiving votes is Natalie. It is unlikely, however, that Natalie and Keith will both be in the final three. Jaclyn will likely be fifth place, and Natalie or Keith will be fourth place, with the other one winning the game against the mother-daughter duo.




1. Natalie

Natalie, sexing it up for the jury.


The entire season will come down to the final 4 immunity challenge. Natalie and Keith will battle it out, and the winner will not only get a ticket to the finals, they will win Survivor: San Juan Del Sur. It will literally be a million dollar immunity challenge, and I am leaning more towards a Natalie victory. The only way Natalie does not win this game is if Keith beats her in the final immunity challenge, which is certainly possible, but not likely.
Am I angry with Natalie for being the driving force behind voting out my boy, Jon? Of course. But, does she deserve to win this game? Absolutely.
As I predicted a few weeks ago, not only do I expect Natalie to win Survivor: San Juan Del Sur, I expect her to be asked back for a "Fans Vs. Favorites" or "All Star" season, and win that as well. This girl is that good. If I am ever on a "Fans Vs. Favorites" season with her, she will be my number one ally. Yes, she is loyal (except to Jon and Jaclyn), but much more importantly, she lets her allies finish her wine on reward challenges. Now THAT is someone I want on my side.




Finale predictions:

Final 5 Immunity - Keith

Fifth Place - Jaclyn

Final 4 Immunity - Natalie

4th Place - Keith

Final 3 - Missy, Baylor, Natalie

Jury Votes:

Josh - Natalie
Jeremy - Natalie
Wes - Natalie
Reed - Natalie
Alec - Baylor
Jon - Missy
Jaclyn - Missy
Keith - Natalie

3rd Place - Baylor

2nd Place - Missy

Winner of Survivor: San Juan Del Sur: Natalie