Not many kids were as obsessed as I was with the Simpson family in the late eighties and early nineties. As I just typed that sentence it dawned on me that this show has been on since the 80's, the EIGHTIES!! I mean, when "The Simpsons" premiered I was in 4th grade, getting my ears pulled by mean nuns because I had messy penmanship, because I was giggling during first Friday mass, or because the brown paper bag acting as my book cover fell off of my 25 year old religion book. Enough about cute little nine-year-old Ryan; in 1989, when "The Simpsons" premiered:
* George H.W. Bush was sworn in as President of the USA. For those of you that may be a little slow with History, or knowledge in general, that is the DAD, not the son. For Christ's sake, RONALD REAGAN was even president for 20 days in 1989. How crazy is it to think that President Reagan and Nancy could have watched "The Simpsons" in the White House?
* The Tiananmen Square Massacre was taking place. No, Tiananmen Square is not only the pit stop on "The Amazing Race" every season the teams are anywhere near China, there was actually a bunch of crazy stuff that went on there, and it is real famous. Maybe the protesters should have been watching "The Simpsons" instead of standing up for what they believed in, and nobody would have gotten hurt.
* Disney MGM Studios opened for the first time. Before "The Simpsons" premiered the only parks in Disney world were Magic Kingdom and Epcot. The horror!
* Nintendo released "Game Boy." 1989 Ryan's perfect day = Wake up at 10:00, play Tetris on Game Boy until 3pm. Replace Tetris with "Paper Boy" and play "Paper Boy" until 8pm. Watch "The Simpsons" from 8:00 - 8:30. Watch "America's Funniest Home Videos" from 8:30 - 9:00. Play another hour of "Tetris" and go to sleep.
* Lyle and Eric Menendez shoot and kill their wealthy parents in Beverly Hills, CA. It is rumored that the parents would not let them watch "The Simpsons" because Bart Simpson repeatedly said the phrase "I'm Bart Simpson, who the Hell are you?"
* The World Series San Francisco earthquake scared the hell out of 9 year old Ryan as he was innocently trying to watch a baseball game:(
* and Finally, Motorola released the WORLD's SMALLEST CELL-PHONE! The MicroTAC.
The antenna was, and always will be my favorite part of any phone. I miss biting them:(
As of now, "The Simpsons" is just about to air its 500th episode, making it the longest-running American sitcom of all time. Obviously "The Simpsons" is not for everybody (mom), but nobody can deny the impressive run that it has had. In time, I will release my 100 favorite fictional characters of all time, and you can bet your bottom dollar that Homer Simpson will be near the very top of the list. If I could choose one best friend for the rest of time, it would probably be Homer Simpson, and the fact that he is a cartoon character means that he will never be my best friend, and that is almost too much for me to bear.
19. American Idol (2002 - Present) - If "American Idol" was JUST rock songs by really talented musicians, it would be one of my favorite shows of all time (this is foreshadowing for what is to come in my countdown. You're welcome for the semi-spoiler.) As much as I love television, music is my true passion. "American Idol" was one of the first shows I watched that combined the two in an elimination format. I obsess over lists (if you could not tell) and elimination shows feed right into my obsession. The combination of eliminations and music was mind-blowing to me I quickly became very interested in the idea of singing elimination shows. "American Idol" paved the way for other shows around today such as "The Voice" and "The X-Factor" which are quite similar, and "The Voice" may even be better than Idol, but I need at least one more season before I can confirm that.
The reason Idol is not higher than this is because of the absolute awful performances I have had to sit through while trying to enjoy the occasional gem. I have to admit, there have been more good performances than bad, but when they are bad, they can be REAL bad. Also, I hate the results shows and I hate the useless judging of Randy Jackson. Helen Keller could do his job, and be better at it.
There are, however, performances that really pump me up and I have been know to keep some Idol shows saved on my DVR for years, just because of 1 or 2 killer performances.
I was not planning on doing this extensive of a write-up on "American Idol", however, if I am going to do something, I may as well do it right, right? I am now going to attempt to do the unthinkable. Here are MY Top 20 favorite "American Idol" performances of all time. WITH VIDEOS!!!!! That means, if you do not watch "American Idol" all you have to do is take a peek at these vids and you will be caught up with ten years of television programming. You can thank me later.
****** Please do not panic if I missed a stellar performance or two. This list was not planned and compiled in just a few short hours. Yes, I wasted hours of my life doing this, but in the end I am here for your entertainment. Yes, that is a pun on the Adam Lambert song, which was probably lost on 99% of you."
20.
Haley Reinhart, Season 10 - "House of the Rising Sun" - It would have helped if she was just a little bit better looking............................................................................................................. I am obviously kidding.
19.
Michael Johns (Season 7) - "Its all Wrong, But It's All Right" - See Haley Reinhart description above, but change the "she" to a "he."
18.
Lee Dewyze (Season 9) - "You're Still the One" - I decided to put a 2 song max. on any contestant in order to keep the countdown interesting, but I loved everything this guy did. If I could have a beer with any contestant ever on Idol it would be Dewyze...... or Kelly Clarkson. Dewyze because I feel as though we would be very good friends, Clarkson, for other reasons.
17.
David Cook (Season 7) - "Time of My Life" - I literally could not care any less how queer you think this song is; I like it, I like it a lot.
16.
Adam Lambert (Season 8) "No Boundaries" - I'm still not embarrassed.
15.
James Durbin (Season 10) - "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" - Who knew that Carole King was so awesome?
14.
Bo Bice (Season 4) - "Remedy" - Anybody that sings a "Black Crowes" song on "American Idol" is pretty awesome.
13.
Chris Daughtry (Season 5) - "I Dare You" - This is one of my favorite songs of all time. No offense to Chris Daughtry whatsoever, but Kermit the Frog could have sang this song and it would have landed in my top 20.
12.
Siobhan Magnus (Season 9) - "Paint it Black" - She is from Massachusetts. Tough Mudder 2012, Siobhan?
11.
Carrie Underwood (Season 4) - "Independence Day" - If you could not tell she was going to be an American icon than you are deaf, dumb, and blind. No offense to anyone reading this that is deaf, dumb, or blind; it's just an expression.
10.
Syesha Mercado (Season 7) - "One Rock & Roll Too Many" - I own more than 10,000 songs either through my 1,000 plus CD's or my Itunes purchases and I think exactly three of those songs are by an African American woman, and this is one of them. Your guess is as good as mine as to why I love it so much, but let me tell you, I LOVE this performance. I seldom vote on American Idol but I must have voted for her 50 times this night, AGAINST rocker David Cook! I am sure that she could be on American Idol 4 more times and I would not like a song she sings more than this, but I don't care. I often sing this song while driving home from work and I dont care who hears me or is staring at me. I would even go as far as to say that I would buy a ticket to a Syesha Mercado concert just to hear this one song. I would more than likely be the only male AND the only white person there, but I would still go and sing along with her and even buy a Syesha Mercado T-Shirt if need be.
9.
David Cook (Season 7) - "Always Be My Baby" - I DESPISE Mariah Carey, but she did give us this song, which enabled David Cook to sing it, and for that reason I will not rank her as my least favorite person of all time, however, she will still be in my top ten on my least favorite people of all time list.
8.
Crystal Bowersox (Season 9) - "Bobby McGee" - Absolute perfection. I know I will get a ton of slack for this, but this is as good, if not better than Joplin. There. I said it.
7.
Kris Allen (Season 8) - "Man in the Mirror" - In this "semi-final" round, this kid was not even "suppose" to make it into the top 12. Well, after this performance, not only did he make it into the coveted top 12, he won the entire show. I am a big Kris Allen fan, and some of his post-idol songs will certainly be featured in my top 1,000 songs of all time.
6.
Matt Giraud (Season 8) - "You Found Me" - I made a personal rule that I wanted to try and prevent any contestant from having more than one song in my top 10, however, there was absolutely no way I could have not put 2 Matt Giraud songs in my top 10. I am sure that most of you don't even remember him; he didn't win, wasn't even in the final 4, but, as you all know, I don't care about popular opinion, and he is clearly one of my favorite American Idols of all time. He also was the first person to ever be saved by the judges, which not only proves that I am right, but proves that America votes based on popularity, not on talent. I HIGHLY suggest that everyone listens to this killer cover, which is WAY better than the original, and I really like the original. This kid has pure musical talent and, in my opinion, got screwed.
*** If you listen to this song and love his version as much as I do, I will gladly mail you a copy of it, as it is no longer available on itunes.It is that good. *****
5.
Carrie Underwood (Season 4) - This was the start of her transformation from an ordinary girl to the biggest star in America.
4.
Kelly Clarkson (Season 1) - "A Moment Like This" - Every single human being in this world should have been obsessed with her back in 2002, and everybody should be even more obsessed with her in 2011. She is the true American Idol.
3.
Lee Dewyze (Season 9) - "Hallelujah" - No comment necessary.
2.
Matt Giraud (Season 8) - "So Small" - The unbelievably irony is that this is an original song by none other than Carrie Underwood. Most of you know how obsessed with music I am, and as a confirmation as to how much I love this song (Matt's version) I am here to tell you that "So Small" by Matt Giraud is the most played song on my entire itunes. It is more played than any Pearl Jam song, Killers song, or Third Eye Blind song. If you know me, THAT is how much I love his version of this song. If you don't know me personally, then just listen to the song, you'll love it. Oh, and follow me on Twitter: ryan_jacobson is my handle,......... I think.
Anyway, listen to the words of this song and tell me that this does not move you in some way.
1.
There are EXACTLY two people in the entire world that will not be surprised by this. 1) my girlfriend, and 2) my very close friend Linda. The reason being is that I have mentioned this to them multiple times and ATTEMPTED to explained to them why I love this song so much.
This will probably be the most shocking thing you have ever / will ever see on ryanscountdowns.blogspot.com, but my favorite American Idol performance of all time is by Lakisha Jones:
Yep. This is not a joke. A girl named "Lakisha Jones" gave my favorite performance in "American Idol" history and here it is....
OK, I understand that this may not be the most perfect performance when it comes to vocals and pitch, but it does prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that I accept and appreciate people from all walks of life. And for that alone, I deserve some sort of award, don't I???
* Performance like this, however, can make the show pretty unbearable. This could give people serious nightmares.
18. Harper's Island (2009) - "Harper's Island" is by far the least well-known series to make the countdown. It technically can be classified as a mini-series, but regardless it is well deserving of a spot in my top 20. For those of you that may not remember, "Harper's Island" centered on a wedding taking place on an island. The promos for the show explained to us that one of the 24 main characters was, in fact, there to kill everyone. The 24 main characters were made up of the wedding party, wedding guests, and a few locals. The show promised us that AT LEAST one person would die in each episode and by the end of the show the identity of the killer would be revealed, as well as the identity of the survivors (if any.) I was hooked from the get-go. It was just like an elimination reality show, except that the person was killed off instead of voted off. The deaths were gruesome and morbid and I had an absolute blast watching them.
The ratings for the show were apparently less than what was expected, because after three weeks CBS moved the show from the desirable Thursday night 10:00pm time slot, to the less than ideal Saturday night 10:00pm time slot.
Unfortunately, after eight weeks of being infatuation with "Harper's Island" I had plans to volunteer in Uganda for the summer. You may think that leaving your family and friends for 2 months, or missing the comforts of home to live in a war-torn African country would be difficult, and you would be right. Nothing, however, was more traumatizing than missing the last eight weeks of "Harper's Island." Of course I had the show taping on two DVR's, but what if something went wrong and it didn't record? What if the DVR became overloaded with episodes of Big Brother After Dark and erased my beloved "Harper's Island?" These were all the basis of my nightmares while in Uganda; but I managed to get by. The first thing I did upon arriving home from my travels to Uganda, London, and Amsterdam was run into the house, turn on my TV, and breathe a huge sign of relief when I saw eight the "Harper's Island" episodes just waiting to be viewed. I nestled into my nice comfortable bed, cracked open a few cold Bud Lights, and enjoyed 8 hours of surprises, betrayals, and gruesome deaths............. Then I allowed my family and friends to visit me and celebrate my homecoming.
Um, this should have been the most watched show in 2009. What else could everyone have been doing on a Saturday night in the middle of the summer??
The show was pegged to be a mixture of the Scream movie franchise and the novel "And Then There Were None" AKA. "Ten Little Indians" by Agatha Christie (which is by far the greatest selling mystery novel of all time, and the 6th greatest selling book of all time.) I have read it, own it, and obviously highly recommend it.)
Almost all of them died, and one was, indeed, the killer. Aren't you curious?
17. Growing Pains (1985 - 1992) - Not only does "Growing Pains" have one of my favorite theme songs of all time and one of my favorite TV characters of all time "Mike Seaver", it also was the launching pad for one of my favorite actors of all time. No, not Alan Thicke, I am referring to the one and only, Leonardo DiCaprio, who played Luke Bower in the final season. (On a side note, yesterday was DiCaprio's 37th birthday, and I would like to take this time to wish him a very happy birthday, and many many more to come.)
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
I would love to say that I just made that in photoshop, but I am not that talented, and really do not even know what photoshop is. I simply google image searched "Happy Birthday Leonardo" and this came up. I can't believe that someone actually made a Happy 37th birthday picture for Leonardo DiCaprio. I think this is absolutely hysterical. But, moving on......
Perhaps the boldest move that "Growing Pains" tried to sneak by was the fact that the youngest daughter, Chrissy, born in season 4, miraculously became a seven year old girl in season 6.
Chrissy Seaver circa 1989Here are some other amazing behind the scene facts about "Growing Pains" and the cast of the show.
* Kirk Cameron was once an atheist, but when he was 17, during the height of his popularity, he became a born again Christian, which ultimately led to his character Mike becoming lame.
* Julie McCullough landed the role of nanny Julie Costello on Growing Pains in 1989. She appeared in eight episodes until she was fired in 1990, Kirk Cameron's conversion to evangelical Christianity, a conversion that, according to The E! True Hollywood Story episode focusing on the show, served to alienate him from his fellow cast members, as he did not invite any of them to his wedding. He called for McCullough's termination because of his objections to her having posed nude in Playboy, and accused the show's producers of promoting pornography. A decade later, Cameron apologized to his TV family, attributing his prior behavior to his lack of maturity,[9][10] but did not reconcile with McCullough, who claims that Cameron refused to speak to her during a later encounter, and who remains critical of him, stating that she lost a lot from the public criticism she endured from the controversy. Although McCullough herself is Catholic, she has criticized the evangelical television programming Cameron has produced, which she has viewed on one occasion, saying on her MySpace page:
| “ | He thinks if I read science books that I'm going to hell. [I would] rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints ... the sinners are much more fun. And a lot more interesting than some book-burner who is still having growing pains. I am at peace with God. Kirk thinks people like me are going to Hell, if I do then at least I'll go well informed and well read.[11] |
WHAT???? And that is straight from wikipedia, and they are as reliable as you can get.
*
In 1988 at age 19, Tracey Gold gained some weight over the Growing Pains series hiatus. That season, the show's scripts called for her to be the brunt of fat jokes from her television brothers for many episodes in a row. Beginning in October 1988, Gold dieted from 133 pounds to about 110 pounds on a medically-supervised 500 calorie a day diet, but still occasionally the scripts included fat jokes at her expense. In her autobiography, she says that between 1989 and 1991, she became increasingly obsessed with food and her weight and continued to slowly and steadily lose weight. In 1990 Gold began group therapy in an eating disorder program, but only learned more ways to lose weight. That season, her problem with weight loss was touched upon slightly on her television series, when Gold is seen looking at her body in a carnival mirror, and describes to another character the distorted image in her head. In 1991, she started starving herself more than ever and vomiting, and lost a massive amount of weight, to the point that she was admitted to a hospital in early 1992. Her lowest weight is estimated to have been near 80 pounds. She was suspended from the show for her skeletal appearance. Photos of Gold's emaciated body were plastered all over tabloid magazines, and she was one of the first celebrities ever to be formally outed for anorexia. She last appeared in the 1991 episode, "Menage a Luke" after missing the two prior episodes where her problem is very obvious in some scenes, and did not return until the last two shows of the series in the late spring of 1992, although she was not nearly recovered at this point.
I dont care how messed up the child actors became from working on this show, it was worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Growing Pains is the best!!!!
and who doesn't love Boner?
16. The Biggest Loser (2004 - Present) - Talk about a hit to your self-esteem. It is nearly impossible to watch "The Biggest Loser" and not think of yourself as a lazy, useless, tub of lard. I am only 150lbs soaking wet and I feel as though I can't eat a handful of M&M's just because it is Tuesday and "The Biggest Loser" airs.
If "The Biggest Loser" was on every night I would be the most fit, tan, and healthy 31 year old around. (I say tan because my gym offers free tanning and I can't go to the gym without tanning because I feel as though I am really getting my money's worth when I do both. I also try to hit up the free massage chair if at all possible.)
On the other hand, if the "Biggest Loser" was on every night I would probably be the most emotionally unstable 31 year old man of all time. Nothing can make me sob like a little girl as much as a heartfelt send-off on "The Biggest Loser."
I would literally be 150 pounds of solid muscle and bronzed skin, but I would be an emotion wreck and socially inept. Therefore, it is probably a very good thing that it only airs once a week.
As I have mentioned before, as I was putting together my team for last years "Tough Mudder" race, which raised money for the amazing charity, "The Wounded Warriors Fund" I got in touch with a few Biggest Loser contestants who joined our team. Frado and Brendan were amazing teammates and welcomed additions to our Team Reality.
Since last May's Tough Mudder, Michelle (Big Brother) Scott (Real World) and I, have also competed in Staten Island's Spartan Race, along with a bunch of other Biggest Loser's (Frado, Patrick, Mark, Hannah, Olivia, Jen, Jay, Danny, and even the Biggest Loser massage therapist, Beck, who by the way, is wonderful to share sleeping quarters with.) Frado and his family took in all of us and literally housed us, fed us, clothed us, entertained us, and they are so nice they probably would have physically bathed us if we were too sore to bathe ourselves.
Last month I joined season 10 winner, Patrick, in the Austin, TX Tough Mudder. Not only is he inspiring, but also a ton of fun to be around, and laughs at my jokes. He even claims that he reads my blog and loves it, but I think he is just saying that to coerce me into flying to Texas again in January to compete in yet another Mudder. Fine, Patrick, I'll do it. (text me when you read that, and we'll see how much you "love" my blog. If it is more than three days from now than the deal is off the table.)
Besides my amazing family, which I would not trade for any other family in the world, my life has been blessed with more friends than anyone can ever ask for. I have more groups of friends than anyone I know. I have close high school friends, college friends, teaching friends, bartending friends and Uganda friends, just to name a few. The reason I say this is because I have spent some time with my "Biggest Loser" friends and when you go through crazy things like Tough Mudders and Spartan Races with people, you get to know them very well. These people, and their families, are some of the nicest, generous, most inspiring people I have ever had the privilege of calling my friends and I am very grateful that Tough Mudder has introduced me to this amazing group of people.
*On a side note, look for us next Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, as NBC filmed our Spartan Race team for a "Where are they Now" episode. I will be the one getting trampled by my fellow Spartan Racers at the starting line because my shoe fell off in the mud upon my first step over the starting line and I had to run back, did through the mud and retrieve it.*
Anyway, seeing as my favorite things to consume are pizza, beer, and blue M&M's, it is inevitable that one day I will become overweight. When that day comes I hope I can be as successful as my friends have become in their weight-lose journeys.
No comments:
Post a Comment