Before I begin the countdown, I will introduce you to a new feature on Ryan's Countdowns: San Juan Del Sur edition. The Probst quote of the week.
"Just because it's in there, doesn't mean it's right." - J. Probst referring to Reed and Baylor blindly sticking wooden pieces into a puzzle. At least that is what I think he is referring to.
Onto the countdown...
13. Dale
Dale, pondering whether or not he can convince Jon that Kelley's glasses are actually a hidden immunity idol.
I have to hand it to Dale for at least attempting to save himself from almost certain elimination this week, but he probably could have at least jazzed up the rock he found on top of the well on day one.
Dale showed some genuine emotion this week. His recap of daughter Kelley's tribal council elimination last week "the roughest thing I've ever seen her go through" and "felt helpless as a father" was overly dramatic, and I assume quite an insult to anyone who has actually had a child go through a legitimate traumatic event or health scare.
At least now Dale can spend the rest of his Survivor time mending the broken relationship he has with his daughter. "Kelley and I are going to have a LONGGGGGG talk tonight" Dale said in his goodbye video, as America simultaneously says "hasn't the poor girl already been through enough."
12. Wes
"Hey, wait a minute. I just realized I haven't spoke out loud in ten days."
As the weeks go by, it is becoming more and more painfully obvious that the only reason Wes was casted on Survivor is because they really, really wanted his eccentric father, Keith. Looking back at the first six episodes, just about the only time we heard anything from Wes was when he was interacting with his old man. The merge couldn't come at a better time for Wes because he has been so invisible that I don't even remember what his voice sounds like, but I'm fairly sure it was barley comprehensible.
11. Jeremy
Jeremy, completed disgusted with his tribe over RiceGate 2014
Typically, I hate everything about Jeremy's complaining and grumpiness. This week, however, while I still hated his complaining and grumpiness, I kind of agreed with him. The game is Survivor. You are going to be hungry. Very very hungry. But, you never know when food will come your way. In the case of Hunahpu, they won the world's biggest shish-kabobs the very next day. "Why are you all so hungry over a little bit of rice?" Jeremy yelled to the poor camera and mic man. I am not sure that sentence makes any sense what-so-ever, but I kind of understand what he means, and for the first time, I felt a little sorry for the guy.
I have a strong feeling that his quote from last night, "I need to make the merge and make some magic happen," is foreshadowing that he will indeed make some magic happen come merge time, and I fear a favorite of mine may pay the price for magic-man Jeremy.
10. Julie
"Oh my God, Probst. All we have to do is give you our tops and we get more rice. That is so easy. Sign me UP!"
"No, Julie. Probst said we have to give him our tarp. We are going to be TARPless, not topless."
Julie had a bit of a difficult week. First, she had to give Jeff Probst all of Hunahpu's comfort items, including blankets, pillows, and the tarp. That means Julie is going to get cold, and Julie hates being cold. Then she found out that her friend Kelley got voted out at the last tribal council. As if all that was not bad enough, an impromptu monsoon came and got Julie all wet and cold; she shivered and cried all night and get very, very wet. Poor Julie. She should quit, because it all seems so unfair; no pretty person should be that cold, wet and hungry while playing Survivor.
9. Alec
Alec Christy: Meat Collector
It seems as though every episode we get to learn a new fun fact about Alec, and the fun facts keep getting stranger and stranger. We have learned of his daddy and older bro issues, his fear of having people snatch things from him, and the fact that he is a superstar car washer. This week we can add meat collector to the list. Alec loves meat so much that his "skirt was blown up" (!!!) when the tribe won the reward challenge and were rewarded with heaps and heaps of meat. And we all know, if there is one thing that all meat collectors love, its a shish-kabob.
8. Reed
Reed, doing a little warm up for his individual reward challenge debut.
Reed is starting to actually get some screen time, and his impressive reward challenge performance proved that he is a physical competitor. The fact that he can put his foot above his head (see pic) probably played a huge factor into why he could basically walk over the obstacles while blindfolded (see below).
He and Josh may be in for some trouble next week if they are not in the majority alliance, and with Josh as likable as he seems, Reed may be the first to go post merge. And as we are just getting to know him, it would be a shame. If he had that big of a meltdown winning the reward challenge, I would pay to see his reaction to a visit by a loved one.
7. Missy
Missy, explaining how she used to try and ditch Baylor at the grocery store every time she spotted a potential husband, but the little brat always kept finding her.
Missy certainly didn't have her "World's Proudest Mom" apron on this week. First, Missy had to sit and watch as her daughter got demolished in the reward challenge. This was Missy's face during her daughter's embarrassing attempt at earn her tribe some meat..
She then had to endure a tribal council in which Probst basically accused her of being an awful mother and losing her daughter at the grocery store all the time. Then she watched as her daughter started crying and I don't even think Missy knew she was crying.
The positive for Missy: After barely surviving the final pre merge tribal, Missy should easily cruise to the final episode, and more than likely, final 3.
6. Josh
Josh, upon seeing the meat that Probst had to offer him.
Josh has been a favorite of mine since day 1, but the previews for next week look awfully bleak for Josh. Now that he has a little meat in him, hopefully he will be able to secure a win in the first immunity challenge, and somehow get the spotlight off of him and Reed. Josh is way too big of a character to go this early, so I really hope the merge treats him kindly. Ideally, him and Reed team up with Jon/Jaclyn and Missy/Baylor. All they would need is a swing vote from Natalie, and they are the final 7. Simple as that. But nothing, ever, on Survivor, is as simple as that.
(For those of you wondering, if I were Josh the above strategy is exactly what I would follow - but form the tightest alliance with Missy and Baylor, and a secret final 3 deal with Natalie - , and I would vote off, Jeremy, Alec, Wes, Keith, Julie) in that order. Then I would turn on Jon and Jaclyn with Miss and Baylor. Then I would turn on Missy and Baylor using Natalie as the swing vote. Then I would beat Reed and Natalie and win $1,000,000.) But what do I know?
5. Baylor
Baylor, traumatized by grocery shopping with Missy.
Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that this is Baylor's first tribal council without receiving a vote. That is an accomplishment to be proud of. And I am not referring to Baylor; I am referring to me, predicting Baylor to win this season after the first episode. Baylor had two girls fighting to go to exile island with her (presumably so they could solidify an alliance with her), and that is never a bad thing. Despite the fact that my 90 year old grandfather could have completed the reward challenge faster than Baylor, she had a decent episode, and, if she plays her cards right next week, could become the queen bee of the island, and, more importantly, well on her way to winning me the office pool.
4. Natalie
Natalie getting her first look at the new Coyopa tribe. Minus her BFF, Kelley.
Natalie never misses a beat. Once she realized that Kelley had been voted off of Coyopa her head began spinning; realizing that she could be on the wrong side of the numbers come merge time. So what does she do? She volunteers to give up Probst's meat, to spend some time with Baylor. I am sure some sort of girl power alliance was formed here, and Natalie will be working very closely with Baylor and her mom next week, and from here on out. Great move by Twinnie #1.
3. Jaclyn
Jaclyn, sitting pretty.
While Jaclyn is sexy, sweet, and sassy, it currently seems as though her main role is simply to be that of Alpha Male Jon's girlfriend. From an outsiders perspective, when she was alone on Coyopa, it looked like she went along with the groups decision, and didn't have too much of an opinion. Now that she has Jon, it seems as though she is there to support him and follow his decisions. Of course this could be the editing. And of course, I couldn't care any less who or what she follows, because she is pretty much perfect.
2. Keith
Classy Keith
I am beginning to love Keith. He is about as laid back as a Survivor castaway can get. For an older guy, he has flown under the radar quite well, and the merge could not have come at a better time for him. He will now meet up with his son, and should not be a target to get rid of for a VERY long time. AND he has a real, hidden immunity idol. If Keith continues along this path, he may take that hidden immunity idol home as a souveniour, as well as the $1,000,000 check. And a $1,000,000 check where Keith is from is like $1,000,000,000 to the average non-Louisianan America.
1. Jon
Jon, debating on whether to keep listen to Dale talk, or kill himself.
First of all, why did Coyopa let Baylor do the reward challenge, and not challenge king, Jon? What a stupid, stupid decision. Jon un-twirled the bag from the slinky looking metal during the immunity challenge like it was literally his job. He has dominated in every challenge so far, but the only thing he apparently cannot do is hang up decorative curtains to match a pattern (but I am going to go ahead and blame Missy for that one.) He was a little bit premature in yelling "Who's Big Jon now," during the immunity challenge, but over-confidence gets even the best of us sometimes. And anyway, he has always been Big Jon to me.
The upcoming merge will make or break Jon, and I am praying it makes him, because, along with his girlfriend, he is one of the only relatable, semi-normal castaways this season, and there will be a gaping hole should he be voted off. I'm pulling for a record breaking ,11 win in a row, individual immunity streak for my man Jon. If anyone can do it, it'd be him. Or me.
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 6: BAYLOR
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 5: BAYLOR
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 4: BAYLOR
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 5: BAYLOR
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 4: BAYLOR
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 3: BAYLOR
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 2: BAYLOR
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 1: BAYLOR
WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 6: JON
WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 5: JON
WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 4: JON
WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 3: JON
WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 2: JON
WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 1: JON
THINK WILL BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 7: REED
THINK WILL BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 6: DALE
THINK WILL BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 5: WES
THINK WILL BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 4: DREW
THINK WILL BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 3: JACLYN
THINK WILL BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 2: JACLYN
WANT TO BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 7: JEREMY
WANT TO BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 6: JEREMY
WANT TO BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 5: JEREMY
WANT TO BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 4: JEREMY
WANT TO BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 3: ROCKER
WANT TO BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 2: ROCKER
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