Survivor: San Juan Del Sur - Episode 2

Episode two of Survivor: San Juan Del Sur has shaken up the favorite castaway countdown more than the dice in an intense game of Boggle. While many have plummeted, a select few have rose from the ashes, and have impressed me with their drive, game play, and most importantly, wit.
While it is still difficult to rank them so early on, it is important to remember that this is simply a countdown of how much I like them, not how stellar of a game they are playing.


17. John Rocker - It is quickly becoming painfully obvious that Rocker will more than likely be my least favorite for the duration of the season. It seems as though most of the castaways are now, or are soon to be aware of his past, and hopefully it will lead to his elimination. The ONLY thing that impressed me about Rocker this episode was his victory against Rock Paper Scissors Reed in the reward challenge, which coincidentally has been the orange tribes only victory so far.
Of course it could be the edit he is receiving, but clearly his baseball career has not helped him cope well with losing. When his girlfriend spanked him in the reward challenge, Rocker responded exactly the way I, and presumably, most of America, assumed he would respond; like a 10 year old boy that was embarrassed about losing a tetherball match to a girl on the playground. As if having a penis is somehow supposed to make you better at balancing a ball on a plate while traversing through a miniature obstacle course.

Hopefully his "Hidden" (seriously, was it just lying on the ground seven steps away from the well?) immunity idol accompanies him on the walk of shame soon. And hopefully, it will be a blindside that goes down as one of the best the show has seen.


16. Val - The biggest drop of the week goes to Val. Pre season, Val was Jeff Probst's pick to win the whole thing (17th place is close enough, Probst.) It may be easy to initially compare Val to Cirie, an all time Survivor great, but last night's episode shot that comparison down harder than Prost shot down Reed's request to trade their beans for flint. Cirie would NEVER make the amateur mistake that Val made when lying about having not one, but TWO immunity idols. Granted, the producers are now basically hiding immunity idols in their canteens, but even Russell Hantz wouldn't be allowed to find two idols in the first three days. She put up a decent fight against Natalie in the immunity challenge. And by "decent" I mean fought hard for about 15 seconds before collapsing to the floating board and flopping around like an injured seal trying to prevent being rolled back into the ocean.


15. Keith - Keith was mostly invisible this episode, but one pretty significant thing happened to him. He lost his joust in the immunity challenge. To Dale. If I could have been watching last nights episode anywhere, it would be in Keith's firehouse with all of his fireman buddies. The bashing Keith must have received would probably have been more entertaining than the episode itself. Keith has potential to be a great character, but I am beginning to fear that we may have already seen the best of him in the premiere. GET IN!



14. Baylor - Baylor takes a huge drop in the rankings this week, and it can be attributed to her pathetic performance in the immunity challenge, after her mother bumped into her lip. While I am sure it hurt, she was overly dramatic and her pouting was embarrassing. She all but forced her mother to feel bad enough to throw the challenge for her, and what could have been an amazing duel, turned into Missy basically jumping into the water at the sound of Probsts' second "Go!"

I am sure that some of her ex-step dads were loving watching her make a fool of herself on national television, because I have a feeling that they were quite familiar with that whiny, childish behavior. After episode one, I predicted Baylor as the winner, and while she may be in trouble soon if she keeps being wishy-washy, I still think she can pull it off if she stays close with her bestie Josh.



13. Dale - I wonder if Dale is beginning to regret voluntarily breaking his glasses on day 1, because he seemed to be having a hell of a difficult time seeing what was happening at the reward challenge. He was slipping and sliding back and forth on his bench like a swinging pendulum. Ultimately though, his vision didn't impede his ability to win his immunity duel in the battle of the oldies. My heart went out to Dale when he admitted that, even though it was his daughters birthday, he wanted her to lose the immunity challenge so his tribe would be safe. No wonder why she hated him for at least three years.



12. Jeremy - If Jeremy and I were on a tribe together, he would hate me. Early on in the episode we hear Jeremy discussing how annoyed he is with Jon and Drew because they were "so happy" and having a good time around camp.
I really hope that Jeremy flies off the handle after realizing his wife has been voted off, and his reactions are the catalyst behind him being one of the next to go. He will certainly be gunning hard for Julie next week, after having been promised by Rocker that he would protect his wife. I can't fault Jeremy for playing the game hard, but I can fault him for being a buzzkill around camp; as there is nothing I hate in life more than a buzzkill.


11. Reed - After praising Reed last week for his seemingly uncanny Rock-Paper-Scissors ability, what does he do this week? He loses because he throws ANOTHER ROCK! The orange tribe must have had a plan to take down Rock Paper Scissors Reed, and it worked.
Reed has been a bore so far, especially compared to his boyfriend Josh, who is running the show on his tribe. Besides losing at Rocks Paper Scissors, Reed was responsible for nearly giving Jeff Probst an aneurism with his ridiculous request to trade their reward winning beans for another piece of the all-important, apparently life-saving flint. I am beginning to think that Reed must have lost another game of Rocks Paper Scissors back at camp, which led to him having to be the poor sap that had to ask Probst for such a bold negotiation.


10. Jaclyn - So far, Jaclyn's main role has been that of Val's sidekick. This week she actually said a few words at tribal. She backed up Val when she was yelling at Baylor. She yelled "Yeah, YOU SAID YOU WOULD VOTE WITH US!!!!!!!" The camera even did a close up of Jaclyn as Val's torch was being snuffed. If there was an emoji face for "oh shit, i'm next" it would be Jaclyn's face as Probst was giving the tribe his weekly, post vote off, fatherly advice.



9. Wes - Thankfully what Wes lacks in his mental abilities, he makes up for in his physical abilities. His surprising victory over Jeremy in the immunity challenge was impressive and should help Wes to be seen as more of an asset to his tribe. If he makes it to the merge, and that is a big IF, he should do well in the physical individual challenges, which should counteract the fact that he will come in dead last in every mental challenge.  Also, now that the entire tribe knows about Rocker's identity, Wes should become less of a target of Rocker's and may actually have a chance of surviving a few more tribals should/when orange keeps losing.



8. Julie - It looks as though Julie should start packing up her skimpy bathing suits, because Val's vote-off has all but sealed her fate. I am not sure why Julie agreed to do Survivor with John, because it was inevitable that she would eventually be voted off through no fault of her own. She has done well in challenges, and seems to be liked by her tribe, but now that Jeremy is pissed at Rocker, Julie will pay the price.

Maybe I have not noticed before, but Julie turned a bit ghetto last night when comforting Natalie about Nadiya's elimination. "If it was your dude, you'd be like whatever, but its your sister, so be sad." Julie is right, when her "dude" gets eliminated, there won't be a wet eye in the house.



7. Missy - I wonder what all of Missy's ex husbands were thinking last night as Missy and Baylor were envisioning one of their heads as they were smashing each other with jousting sticks. I'm sure that if you were outside, anywhere in Texas last night around 8:30 you could hear a collective "Are they talking about me?????" from all the men in Texas that have been married to Missy.

It was impossible to not feel for Missy during the immunity challenge last night. She basically was forced to throw the challenge after her daughter split her lip open, and blamed Missy. If my mom and I are ever on a season of Survivor: Blood Vs. Water, I am sooooooooo going to fake an injury and push her off the platform quicker than Probst can say "Medic!!"



6. Alec - As I correctly predicted last week, Alec lost the Bro Vs. Bro jousting battle, to his model brother Drew. Alec, however, is looking very secure with the position he's in with his tribe. He seems to be likable, useful in the challenges, and in a solid boys alliance. We even started to see some of his lighthearted and playful personality come through this episode as Old Man Dale was tearing up over his decision to root for his tribe mate (Jaclyn) over his birthday girl (Kelley.) After Dale's emotional explanation for why he didn't want to watch the two girls joust, we hear Alec yelling "Birthday girl is going downnnnnnnnnn." It was immature and insensitive. And I absolutely LOVED it!



5. Natalie - First of all, any twenty-eight year old that has not shed a tear in tens years, must have some serious emotional issues. I'm a grown man and I cry watching The Voice. I'm not really sure what that says about me, but that's besides the point. I am loving the idea of watching Natalie play this game alone, and I think she is going to go VERY far. Her emotional breakdown after finding out that her twin had been eliminated was genuinely a great Survivor moment because, as Natalie said, they are ALWAYS together, and always have been. Natalie is not afraid to speak her mind, and I have a feeling that she is going to be a key player down the road in forming and maintaining some sort of powerful female alliance and knock out some big dogs.



4. Drew - My favorite moment from episode 2, and quite frankly, one of my favorite Survivor moments in recent history, was brought to us by European model, American Drew. As same sex couple Josh and Reed were preparing to face off in their jousting match, their tribe mates began cheering for them to defeat their loved one. Clearly Drew and his tribe mate haven't had much time to bond in the first SIX DAYS, because Drew yelled "LET'S GO JOSH!!!" As casual as my Friday work outfits, Jon leans towards his tribe mate bro, and says "It's Reed that's on our team." One would think that after spending every waking (and sleeping) moment for six days with someone, you might know their name.




3. Kelley - I thought that I was beginning to tell Jaclyn and Kelley apart; that is until the sexy jousting match between them took place. There was blonde and boobs all over the place, and suddenly it didn't matter who was in blue who was in orange. And suddenly I didn't care who won, I just didn't want it to end. After I wrote out the family trees of the castaways, I realized that Kelley was in blue and is the daughter of Dale. I figured it out just in time to hear her comment on her dads victory over Old Man Keith. Kelley's verbal contribution on this weeks episode was "Crazyyyyyyyy. My dad's insane."
I am really leaning towards Dale being a crazy lunatic, as the reasoning behind their rocky relationship.



2. Josh - Hands down, Josh is playing the best game out of everyone. He has Baylor under his thumb and is super tight with the boys. He is in great shape, extremely likable, and ready to play the game. He noticed John and Val coming out of the woods and knew there must have been some sort of scheming going on, especially because John hates black people and would never voluntarily talk to one unless forced to, or to help him get ahead.
At the immunity joust, Josh was heard cheering "Get Him Off, Get Him Off" and I love that the editors decided to include that rather than leave it on the cutting room floor. A word of advice to everyone; if you EVER have an opportunity to chant "GET HIM OFF, GET HIM OFF" do it.




1. Jon - For the second week in a row Jon has taken the top spot. Why, you ask?

* Jon does squats with driftwood.
* Jon was second in the world in Tae Kwon Do (wait a minute, second in the worldddd?????????? even better than like people in Korea?) What?!!!!?
* Jon loses flint.
* Jon ADMITS he was responsible for losing the flint when he clearly could have blamed someone else. Blame the old guy, buddy!
* Jon knows the names of all of his tribe mates.
* Jon awkwardly claps when his tribe wins immunity at the cost of his girlfriend being jousted into the ocean.
And....
* Jon not only beats John Rocker in immunity challenge jousts, but Jon gives John Rocker bloody noses.

Michigan Jon is a stud to the nth degree.



PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 2: BAYLOR
PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 1: BAYLOR

WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 2: JON
WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 1: JON

THINK WILL BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 3: JACLYN
THINK WILL BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 2: JACLYN

WANT TO BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 3: ROCKER
WANT TO BE VOTED OFF EPISODE 2: ROCKER

NEXT CASTAWAY I WANT TO GET A BEER WITH: NATALIE.
FIRST CASTAWAY I WANT TO GET A BEER WITH: JON. AND HIS FAMILY

Survivor: San Juan Del Sur - Episode 1

It was in a tiny Malaysian fishing village in late May of 2000 that I fell in love.  What could have easily turned into just another lusty summertime fling, has since developed into the longest, steadiest, and most committed relationship of my life.  There has not been a single, solitary moment in the last fourteen years that our relationship has floundered. In fact, our bond has only grown deeper. We have laughed together, cried together, been through numerous injuries together, and even had the occasional nervous breakdown together. My entire “adult” life has been spent with you by my side, and I am forever grateful for your loyalty, perseverance, and our ever-evolving relationship.  “Survivor”, I can’t imagine life without you.

For fourteen years and twenty-nine seasons, I have never missed a minute of the groundbreaking, “social experiment” that swept the nation back in the summer of 2000. I have had hundreds, if not thousands of conversations with family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and complete strangers revolving around the most recent episode or season. Some conversations had with people of similar viewpoints often cause my love and admiration for them to blossom. Adversely, there have been conversations that left me wondering why I have ever been friends with this person in the first place.

With all this being said, I have decided to begin sharing my thoughts publically for all to see/share/discuss. However, since I am a countdown specialist, rather than writing an everyday ho-hum, run of the mill, recap of the show, this blog will be dedicated to counting down my favorite contestants, and sharing my opinions of them throughout the season.  Each week I will rank all the remaining contestants and share with you why I love or inevitably despise them so much.  

Without further ado, I share with you my countdown of the cast of “Survivor: San Juan Del Sur.”

18. John “Wetland” Rocker - One would think that if former Atlanta Braves pitcher, John Rocker, the oft referred to “racist, homophobic, bigot”, wanted to repair his tarnished image with America, going on Survivor may be a good platform to do so. So far, not only has Mr. Rocker not made me think any different of him, but now, I will add the adjectives boring, and crotchety to his title. The only thing that impressed me about Mr. John “Wetland” boring, crotchety, homophobic, racist, bigot, Rocker, was the way that he literally threw his teammates up the wall during the immunity challenge. And, of course, his girlfriend, Julie. Knowing how much Jeff Probst loves calling alpha males by their last name, I can only imagine how pained he must be on the inside to not be able to refer to John as “Rocker.” I am guaranteeing Probst says “Rocker” at least 6 times at the live finale.

17. Nadiya (AKA Twinnie #1) - The second I heard the Amazing Race "Twinnies" would be on Survivor, I predicted that at least one of them would be gone within the first two weeks. Maybe even both. I’m hard pressed to remember many people that dug themselves into a bigger hole post-immunity challenge, than Nadiya. To be fair, even if she did not call her male tribe member that was the deciding vote a “girl” because he is homosexual, she still could have been voted off. However, she certainly did herself no favors, and if she did not open her loud mouth, she may have had a chance to Survive for a few more weeks. Instead, she now goes down in reality TV history as being the only person in the entire world to be the first person eliminated from the Amazing Race, AND the first person voted off of Survivor. Somewhere even Francesca, who was voted off Survivor first BOTH times she played, is laughing at Nadiya for being so bad at Reality TV. I was back and forth with her and Rocker for least favorite, but I do love a good margarita, and anytime margarita talk can be incorporated in tribal councils, it can’t be ignored.

16. Drew - I have a strong feeling that Drew, the older, and questionably wiser brother of Alec, is in for an uphill battle on his “blue” tribe. If only there were some Europeans on his tribe that knew how much of a (not HUGE), but pretty big deal model he was in Europe, maybe he would have found himself beating off his tribemates (that wanted to align with him) with a stick. I also have a prediction that his shelter that he took charge of building will last about as long as piggy number one’s straw house in the classic 3 Little Pigs fairy tale. I fear that Drew may not last long enough for me to begin liking his carefree, laid-back, personality that I appreciate, and look for when choosing friends in real life.

15. Wes - I originally thought that Wes’s dad, Keith, was being hard on his son when, four minutes into the episode, he told his son that he was about “as mentally strong as that rock”, but halfway through the episode I realized that maybe Keith was being a bit generous with his son’s mental capability. When pressing John for his last name because he recognized him as “someone he has seen on TV before,” (ummmmmm, Keith and Wes have a TV?) his first question in his impromptu game of 20 Questions was “Does it have 5 letters?” mistakenly thinking that Rocker had only five letters. Realizing his blunder, he kept pressuring Rocker until he finally caved and admitted that he was, indeed, the asshole that is hated by all of America. Wes, agreed to Rocker’s plea to stay hush hush about the secret because Wes could relate to Mr. Rocker because, you know, he too, use to play baseball.

14. Missy - No offense what-so-ever to anyone that has been divorced three times, as I am sure you are a lovely person. But, a word of advice, if you introduce yourself to people, and that is one of the first things you tell people, they mayyyyyyyyyyyyy mistakenly assume that you are a raging bitch and no human can deal with you for longer than a few years. But what do I know? Other than the fact that her 20 year old daughter Baylor, is basically the adult in the relationship, and she has been divorced three times, the only thing I learned about her is that she was very concerned with the stability of the “shelter” that Drew was “building.” Maybe she is planning on looking for husband #4 in San Juan Del Sur, and wants to make sure that all accommodations are up to par in case she wanted to “test the waters” before saying “I Do” again.

13. Natalie (AKA. Twinnie #2) - I have to admit that I am actually a little bit exciting to get to know Natalie/Nadiya without Natalie/Nadiya around. I am curious to see how Natalie will interact with other human beings besides her clone. I feel as though I could actually start to like her, because what I despise most about the twinnies is their bickering and arguing and their voices and their whining and their accents and their loud, abrasive personalities. Hopefully Natalie can have a personality of her own now, which I actually think I will enjoy. They seem like fun girls to party with, and I imagine them to be able to throw a few back with the best of them. My kind of girls.

         

         So, while I am excited that one twinnie is gone, I am devastated that it happened before the impending loved one jousting competition which I would have paid good money to hear Probst’s commentary. “Natalie NAILS Nadiya in the head. Or was that Nadiya that smashed Natalie in the head?” “NADIYA wins a point for the blue team!!! Oh, nevermind, that was Natalie!! Natalie wins a point for the blue team!!!!!”  I fear that we missed quite a grudge match by voting Nadiya out at the first tribal. A full fledged, hair-pulling, eye-gouging, grudge match between the most famous Sri Lankan twinnies of all time.

12. Reed - Reed was pretty much non-existent in episode one, BUT, we learned that he is amazing at at least one thing: Rocks, Paper, Scissors. I have always prided myself on my ability to demolish at RPS, but this guy, comes right in, and blows old man Dale right out of the water. Throwing a rock on your first shoot? This guy knows what he is doing. I can’t help but wonder if his strategy would have changed if the all important rock-paper-scissor game was two out of three, and the world may never know. Seriously Survivor, you really dropped the ball on some great TV by only making the RPS game best of one. Who the hell plays best of one Rock Paper Scissors??? If his Survivor game play is even a fraction of what his RPS game is, my money is on this dude to take home the title of Sole Survivor, and the $1,000,000 that goes along with it.

11. Alec - The younger, and apparently less attractive brother of European Top Model Drew, seems to have a much better grasp on this game. The bro vs. bro game is on, and while I am predicting a Drew victory in the jousting match, I would bet my bottom dollar that Alec wins the war, and outlasts his evidently devilishly handsome broski. Alec should fit right in on the “orange” tribe, because they will more than likely just vote off all the OLD people. I mean, who in their right mind would want an old, decrepit, thirty-something on their Survivor tribe? Or even worse, the elderly, useless, 55 year old Dale. The horror!

10. Dale - The only thing I could think about when old man Dale saved the day and broke his glasses in order to start a fire for the young beautiful people, is the classic quote, from the even more classic film, Dumb and Dumber. “Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.”

          Unfortunately for Dale, I think his time may be short lived because of his    aforementioned age and painfully obvious inability to bond with the youth of America. Even his young, pretty daughter decided she didn’t want to hang with him for a few years. Until, of course, he was needed to help her get on Survivor. If, however, he did indeed find the “hidden” immunity idol, but does not even realize it because of his voluntary blindness, it will be one of the greatest, and saddest things that have ever happend on the show.

9. Jeremy - Right out of the gate I liked this guy. I was impressed by his competitiveness and the fact that he was willing to do anything to win, even if it meant his wife had to lose. His post victory emotions showed us that despite demolishing his wife in the first challenge, all but ruining her game, he has a good heart and feels bad about the situation. I too, am extremely competitive, and would have no problem beating a loved one in a challenge. But, I would be an emotional basketcase if was the reason that my wife had to live on a deserted island alone with no shelter, no food, and a strange old man.

What I disliked about Jeremy is how concerned he was about his “friends” back home. In his first shirtless, overly-erotic-positioning-on-the-rocks confessional, he tells the camera that he is nervous about his friends killing him because he cried on the show. I would have just chalked this up as a tough, Boston firefighter being slightly embarrassed about showing his emotions, but I am not 100% certain that Jeremy was not serious. On a related note: Has anyone heard from Jeremy since the episode premiered?

I am nervous that Jeremy may be playing too hard, too quickly. Day one alliances on Survivor have had some pretty good track records, but they have also failed miserably, and typically the ring leader will be the first of the group to get the boot.

8. Kelley - I am pretty sure that Kelley is on the show. I vaguely remember Jeremy pulling her in and asking her to join his alliance as she was carrying a few sticks, presumably to accomplish her assigned task of tending to the fire.

The first episode left me with some questions that I would like answered ASAP, but the numero uno thing that I MUST find out before the season ends is why Kelley and her father, blind farmer Dale, did not talk for a few years. And I want, and frankly feel as though I deserve, every last juicy detail. Until then, I will take the side of the hot blonde in the bikini and assume that Dale is a prick.

7. Keith - Apparently the Einstein of the family, Keith is the father of dumb-as-a-rock Wes.  Even though, when introducing themselves to the group, after Probst pointed to them and demanded “You two, in the camo, what are your names?” Keith said “Wes, and Keith, father and son.”  (and pointed to his son when he said father, and pointed to himself when he said son.) Close enough dude. Close enough.

Keith, however, delivered my favorite quote of the episode. When forced on exile island with Val, he admitted to Val that he, too, was a firefighter, just like her husband, Jeremy. Val, clearly in disbelief, exclaimed “GET OUT!” as just about every normal person mutters when they hear some heavy news. Without skipping a beat, Keith yells back to her “GET IN!” I have never heard anyone respond that way, and I instantly promised myself that for the rest of my life, whenever anyone says “GET OUT” to me, I will respond even louder, and with more gumption, GET IN!

6. Julie - I suppose I liked Julie about as much as I could possibly like anyone in a committed relationship with John Rocker. She seems to be a strong-minded, tough chick, but with a soft tender side. I briefly looked at the contestants CBS bios, and her favorite previous castaway of all time is also my favorite castaway of all time; the one and only Colleen Haskell. If this chick turns out to be ANYTHING like Colleen Haskell I will eat my socks, but I digress.

She admitted that she doesn't want to be remembered as Julie, with the big hair, and big boobs, and John Rocker’s girlfriend. Don’t worry Julie, that would never happen. I have no idea what your hair even looks like.

5. Jaclyn - Jaclyn’s biggest fear is that people will look at her and her boyfriend Jon and think, “oh, look at them they are the perfect couple.” Only time will tell if they are the perfect couple, but after episode one, they are by far my favorite couple. The are good looking, attractive, ummmmmm,easy on the eyes, and, ummmmmmm, nice to look at.

Soon maybe I could possibly be a bit shallow, but I look forward to seeing her personality come out. Unfortunately, it looks as though Jaclyn and Jon may both be on the outs as far as alliances in their tribe are concerned. I’m hoping at least one of them can survive long enough to make it to the merge and do some damage. If not, I hope Jaclyn continues to wear as little clothing as possible until her upcoming, predictable tribal council send off.

4. Val - If I were to ever commit a crime in Massachusettes, I would be sure that Val is on duty, and I would be sure that I was around plenty of logs, or things that I could climb on to ensure that I could get away from police woman, Val. Not only was she humiliated by losing to her uber competitive husband, Jeremy. But she also had the added pressure of Probst screaming at her “LET’S GO WOMAN!” as she was attempting to throw herself over the logs in the first challenge of the season. Needless to say, she lost. Like her husband, I admire her competitiveness and her fearlessness, and I think, like Cirie, if she can survive a few more weeks, she can make it to the very end of this game.

Val must have not seen many seasons of Survivor though, because she is under the belief that if she forms an all girl alliance, it will be some sort of history for Survivor. Umm, ok? Survivor: Amazon? Survivor Micronesia? Survivor One World? Parvati Shallow’s heart must have skipped a beat when she heard that joke of a conversation.

3. Baylor - I am going out on a limb and predicting Baylor as the sole Survivor this year. Not only because I have her in the office pool, but because she reminds me of Ciera from the original Blood Vs. Water. Like Ciera, she will almost certainly be voting off her mother, should her mother survive until the merge. She may even be good enough of a player to get her mother to the final three, that is if her mother doesn’t decide to get married to a cameraman, or local San Juan Del Sur’ian before the final tribal council even takes place. As of right now though, this game is Baylor’s to lose.

2. Josh - First the guy gets crabs, then he gets some sort of eye poisoning for the entire first three days. What an up and down first episode for Josh. If his eyes can stay clean, and if he doesn’t  get too caught up in the middle of the men and woman, Josh, along with Baylor, should dominate this tribe. I do wish that Josh called out Nadiya on her amazing ability to be so ignorant, but for his game, it was probably best that he stayed calm and let the loudmouth be voted off.  It sap eyes can stay uninjured, I see this guy going very far, and deservingly so.

1. Jon - If I could choose who I wanted to win right now, it would HANDS DOWN be this guy. He just seems like a normal, cool, down-to-Earth dude. Not only does Jon have a major cause for concern about his girlfriend being voted off sooner, rather than later,  he also has the added stress of having his cancer-ridden father fighting for his life at home. I am pulling for Jon, his father, his girlfriend, his dog, his cat, or whatever the hell else is important to him. He is strong enough to make the merge, and likable enough to not get voted off post merge. Let’s just hope he is smart enough to make some new alliances, in his already heavily aligned tribe.

PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 1 - BAYLOR

WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 1 - JON

THINK IS NEXT TO BE VOTED OFF - JACLYN

WANT TO BE VOTED OFF NEXT - ROCKER

WANT TO GET A BEER WITH - JON. AND HIS FAMILY.

40 Favorite Killers Songs

         In honor of the great Casey Kasem, countdown legend, going missing, and also to honor my favorite band, The Killers (whose concert I will be attending tonight), I have decided to throw together a quick TOP 40 Countdown of my favorite Killers songs to date.

Due to time restraints, I will not be writing a lengthly review of each song. You can, however, fully expect every one of these songs to be included in my Top 1000 favorite songs of all time countdown, which is scheduled to be released at some point in 2014.

*Disclaimer* This countdown will include only songs that have been included on the albums Hot Fuss, Sam's Town, Sawdust, Day & Age, Battle Born, and Direct Hits. It will not include Brandon Flowers' solo work, or the annual Killers Christmas songs, all of which are countdown worthy.




40. Bling (Confessions of a King) - Sam's Town 
A story of how Brandon's father went cold turkey on Alcoholism and Catholicism and turned to Mormonism.

39. This is Your Life - Day & Age
Candy, who formally went by the name of Jackie, has dabbled with too much drugs and/or prostitution, and suddenly realizes that she isn't living quite the life she had always imagined.

38. Smile Like You Mean It - Hot Fuss
Attempting to come to terms with becoming old.

37. Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf- Sawdust
The song is part of the murder trilogy along with "Midnight Show" and "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" about the murder of a girl names Jennifer.  During "Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf" Jenny and her "friend" get into a big fight and break up. He allegedly offs her during "Midnight Show" and denies it during "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine." Legendary.

36. Uncle Johnny - Sam's Town
About Brandon Flowers uncle, appropriately named Johnny. He was addicted to cocaine, and thought aliens were going to come down and steal his semen. To avoid this, he attempted to shoot himself in the testicles in the bathtub, but fortunately missed, and he shot himself right in the groin. He is much better now.

35. On Top - Hot Fuss
It's Imagine Dragon's "On Top of the World" older brother.

34. Under the Gun - Sawdust
The refrain of the song is this.... "kill me now, kill me now, kill me now, kill me now..... kill me now, kill me now, kill me now, kill me now."
But, somehow,  I can not help but have a smile on my face every single time I hear it. It is such a happy little ditty.

33. I Can't Stay - Day & Age
More than likely, this is about being on the road, and the joy Flowers experiences when he returns to his home. "There is a majesty at my doorstep. There's a little boy in her arms."

32. Here With Me - Battle Born
About wanting someone back in your life. The video is fantastically bizarre.

31. Show You How - Sawdust
I don't care what the song is about because I'm obsessed with the fact that it starts with a message Brandon left on his bandmates voicemail (when he had the idea for the song.) That is how they shared ideas with each other when they were not physically together. Pretty rad.


30. The Ballad of Michael Valentine  - Sawdust
My favorite song on Sawdust. 
Valentine was a professional poker player based in Vegas and formally in a band with Killer's drummer Ronnie Vannucci. Vannuccci then found success with The Killers and Valentine may have been a bit bitter. Regardless, Flowers found something interesting about Valentine to write this killer (pun intended) song.

29. Heart of a Girl - Battle Born
The story of Brandon and his wife, and about how she has stuck behind him during all the craziness of being a rock star.


28. Carry Me Home - Battle Born
An extra track about loving someone, but not being totally in love. But if you would like to think that it is about getting really drunk and needing someone to carry you home, that will work too.


27. Miss Atomic Bomb - Battle Born
Is there any way that a Mr. Brightside sequel could be anything but awesome?

"Miss Atomic Bomb goes back to the same cheating woman presented in their previous hit “Mr. Brightside”. Brandon Flowers looks back at the memory of when they met. The song goes from a nostalgic perspective to the current moment, after breaking up with her, and shows the consequences, comparing them to an atomic blast.
In the 1950s, nuclear tests were being done in Nevada’s desert, and there was a place for the crowd to watch, through sunglasses. They organized a beauty pageant named “Miss Atomic Bomb”, and they took a picture that ended up in Brandon Flower’s hands. He liked the power of the name and inspired him to revisit the woman from “Mr. Brihgtside” and the effect she had on him."

26. Losing Touch - Day & Age

There are many people I know that are totally out of touch with reality. This song is for them. You know who you are, you crazy loons.

25. Andy, You're a Star - Hot Fuss

About a guy Brandon went to high school with; the star athlete. Apparently Andy was mean to Brandon, and this is Brandon's sarcastic response to Andy being a grade "A" dick. 

24. From Here on Out - Battle Born

From Mr. Flowers himself regarding "From Here on Out."

"Country is at it's best when there's a struggle, a couple of broken hearts, or a lot of pain... country is at it's best when there's a fly in the ointment, a serpent in the garden or a little piece of glass hidden in the grass [Morrissey reference]. Country is at it's best when somebody has done somebody wrong, and somebody did me wrong, and that's what inspired this next song."

It's about a betrayal, the first verse is about the betrayal itself, the chorus is about the affect it had on him - making him more pessimistic, less trustworthy, shifting his paradigm of life. The latter verses are about looking back on it, "should our paths ever decide to cross, you may wonder what the trouble cost", and eventually letting go of it "Hallelujah, the troubles gone, no sense in holding grudges..."

23. My List - Sam's Town

I do not know or care what this song is about. I love lists. And Brandon Flowers.

Fine. It's about Brandon's wife. "You should have known by now, you were on my list." Congrats Brandon. Cross that one off your list. 

22. Jenny Was a Friend of Mine - Hot Fuss

A boy was accused of killing his ex girlfriend, Jenny. He denied it saying "there ain't no motive for this crime, cuz' Jenny was a friend of mine." 

As mentioned earlier, this is part of the murder trilogy. We never find out if the narrator of the song was found guilty of the crime, but I feel strongly that he didn't do it. They were friends! It says so right in the title.

21. Sam's Town - Sam's Town

Sam's Town is a casino in Henderson/Vegas where Flowers is from and loves with all his heart.

He mentions in the song his grandma Dixie's wake, which was Brandon's first real experience with death. This was my ring tone for a few years. I am not too sure why, but I loved it.

20. Bones - Sam's Town

"A sweet and twisted romance." - B. Flowers

AMAZING VIDEO

19. Just Another Girl - Direct Hits

About a guy that has a very difficult time dealing with a break up and doesn't want to listen to anybody else about how there are plenty of fish in the sea.

"All of my friends say, I should move on. She's just another girl." .......

"Well maybe all of my friends should confront, the fact that I don't want...... another girl."

One of the two new tracks on last year's Direct Hits, "Just Another Girl" is a welcomed addition to The Killers' catalogue.

The video includes scenes and props from every video the band has released. It is like a ten year anniversary celebration.

18. Change Your Mind - Hot Fuss

I change my mind more than anybody I know. I am pretty sure I am the most indecisive human being alive. 

17. This River is Wild - Sam's Town

Flowers was born in Vegas, moved to Utah around 8 or so, and then had the itch to move back to Vegas. This presumably is about the excitement surrounding the idea of leaving Utah to return to Vegas.

16. Prize Fighter - Battle Born

An extra track on Battle Born, and quite possibly my favorite "deluxe edition only" track of all time. It is an absolute shame that cheap bastards that wouldn't spring for the deluxe edition did not get to enjoy this gem.

15. Neon Tiger - Day & Age

Rumor has it that this song is about the "myth of Vegas." I have no idea what that means, and I could not care any less. It could literally be about a fictional neon tiger and I would still get pumped up every time I heard it. 

14. Somebody Told Me - Hot Fuss

The song that started it all. I have a love/hate relationship with the song. I obviously love it, because I love everything by The Killers, but I dislike the fact that it is one of their most well known songs. To me, it is just vastly different from most of their other work. With that being said. It is certainly one of the biggest songs of the decade, and deservingly so.

13. The Way It Was - Battle Born

"If I go on, with you by my side, can it be the way it was when we met. Did you forget all about those golden nights?"

Interpretation: I will get back together with you, but only if you are cool again. You totally turned into a bitch and that is why I broke up with you.

12. Shot at the Night - Direct Hits

NCAA basketball fans (men's basketball, obviously) will recognize this song as the theme to this past years tournament. You know, because the word "shot" is in the title of the song. 

If this video doesn't make you want to book a flight to Vegas and almost run somebody over in your car while driving down the strip, I don't know what will. 

11. Human - Day & Age

This is why Brandon Flowers is my favorite person of all time. 

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Flowers said that he was irritated over the confusion about the lyrics and also that fans were unhappy with the song's dance beat: "It's supposed to be a dance song, [the beat] goes with the chorus...If you can't put that together, you're an idiot. I just don't get why there's a confusion about it."

10. Battle Born - Battle Born

Ho.Ly. Shit. This song is EPIC. Purely epic. It was the last track on their last album. Hardly anybody knows it, and that makes me very, very sad.

9. Spaceman - Day & Age

This song all but convinced me to include "get abducted by aliens" at the top of my bucket list.

Maybe someday (fingers crossed.)

8. When You Were Young - Sam's Town

"The song is about the idea that saviours can come in different forms." 

Any song in which my favorite mortal person of all time gives a shot out to my favorite immortal person of all time (Jesus) is an instant classic in my book.

7. Runaways - Battle Born

I may throw my shoulder out of my socket fist pumping to this song, but it will be totally worth it. 

6. Read My Mind - Sam's Town

Brandon Flowers considers it the greatest song they have ever written. And considers the album the greatest album in there past twenty years. I agree with everything he says. 

5. Why Do I Keep Counting? - Sam's Town
Flowers is TERRIFIED of flying. This is his acceptance of that fear.
If you have a fear of flying, or if you do not have a fear of flying, or if you have never flown before, listen to this song and prepared to have your mind blown.

4. For Reasons Unknown - Sam's Town
There is no reason known to man that you can possibly give me for not thinking this is one of the greatest songs of all time. In fact, if you can seriously tell me you think this song is not amazing, I will punch you in the face, for reason's made abundantly clear; you're an idiot.

3. A Dustland Fairytale - Day & Age

My favorite love song ever written. It is about Brandon's parents, and his mother passing away a few years back from cancer.

This is my favorite late night musical performance of all time.

2. All These Things That I've Done - Hot Fuss

I have the lyrics tattooed to my body. Need I say more?

1. Mr. Brightside - Hot Fuss
I do not take pride in the fact that their biggest hit is my favorite song of theirs, but I could listen to this song on repeat for the rest of my life and die a happy man. Not that I want to die any time soon, but if I did, I would look on the bright side and be happy that I could die while enjoying my favorite song of all time.

Favorite Game Shows of All Time (25-21)

25. What Would You Do? (1991-1993) NICK - What Would You Do? is the only show on the countdown that I was unsure if I should include on the countdown due to the fact that it is more of a variety show than a game show. After much deliberation, I decided that the kids on the show did, in fact, play games, so I allowed myself to include the classic Nickelodeon show that I adored so much. I have no idea why I was so addicted to it, but all I could think about while watching it was somehow getting a chance to be in the audience or on the show. I believe that my family and I went to Disney World two times while the show was airing, and since 11 year old Ryan had the attention span of a monkey, I completely forgot to hound my parents to take me to Universal Studios to fulfill my life dream.

24. Twenty-One (1956-1958, 2000) CBS/NBC - No, Twenty-One did not make the countdown just because it is my favorite number. I obviously never watched the 1950's version of the show, but the 2000 version was a huge hit with college Ryan. I obviously did not watch much TV during my college years, but I distinctly remember many of us piling into my tiny bedroom and finished off a few 30 packs while watching the hour long Twenty-One.
Twenty-One (the 1950's version) is responsible for one of, if not THE, most notorious controversy in the history of American television. It turns out that the game show was rigged and the incident nearly ruined the idea of American Game Shows. The movie Quiz Show is about the events of the 1950's Twenty-One bombshell.

I am not too sure why, but I find this terrifying.

23. Shop Til' You Drop (1991-1994, Lifetime 1996-1998, Family Channel 2000-2005 PAX)
Who doesn't love a great episode of Shop Til' You Drop? This is one of those shows that is so completely mindless that if you are lucky to be a contestant on the show and LOSE then you should be humiliated to show your face in public for at least a few years. How bad do you have to be at shopping and running up and down stairs to lose at Shop Til You Drop? Also, Shop Til' You Drop is responsible for what I consider to be the most humiliating contestant of all time. Once the couple beat their opponents by knowing that Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz was played by Judy Garland, they went on to the bonus round. Here, it was the HUSBAND that opened up the gift boxes and suggested to the wife if they should keep the gift or return. Then the WIFE had to run up and down the stairs and carry all the heavy boxes. Seriously, has anyone ever seen an episode of Shop Til' You Drop where the husband opens the boxes? Well, I have, and let me tell you, it was unbelievable.

This is not the husband opening the boxes episode, but they are quite possibly the most excited Drop contestants ever. And they are not a married or dating couple? In fact, she is married and he has a girlfriend. I had no idea that was even legal on Shop Til' You Drop.



22. STUDS (1991-1993) STUDS was The Dating Game for cool people. I remember it used to come on real late at night and it was probably a little inappropriate for me to be watching, but I suppose I turned out just fine, so whatever. The show featured two guys (The Studs) that each got to go on a blind date with the same three women (the studettes.) At the end of the game the girls picked a Stud, and each Stud picked a studette. I was always so embarrassed for the girl that nobody choose, but I am sure it was just because she was either annoying, obnoxious, or maybe even disgusting.
Not only was Tami from the The Real World: LA on the show (WHILE SHE WAS ON THE REAL WORLD) seriously, she was on a reality show and a game show at the same time, but also Ron Goldman was a Stud three years before some random man murdered him and OJ Simpson's Ex wife.

21. Tic Tac Dough (1956-1959 NBC, 1978-1986 CBS, 1990-1991) About 28 years ago my brother and I (then ages 4 and 7) were obsessed with Tic Tac Dough..... Let me rephrase that, we were obsessed with a contestant on Tic Tac Dough. At the ages of 4 and 7 we knew that this guy was something special. He is still, to this day, without question, one of the greatest contestants on any game show in the history of television; Kit Salisbury. Below is a clip of Kit and his final moment on Tic Tac Dough

This was, by far, the saddest moment in 4 year old Ryan's life up until this time. I had to say goodbye to my dear friend, Kit.

 

Kit Salisbury: A true game show legend.