Survivor: San Juan Del Sur - Episode 1

It was in a tiny Malaysian fishing village in late May of 2000 that I fell in love.  What could have easily turned into just another lusty summertime fling, has since developed into the longest, steadiest, and most committed relationship of my life.  There has not been a single, solitary moment in the last fourteen years that our relationship has floundered. In fact, our bond has only grown deeper. We have laughed together, cried together, been through numerous injuries together, and even had the occasional nervous breakdown together. My entire “adult” life has been spent with you by my side, and I am forever grateful for your loyalty, perseverance, and our ever-evolving relationship.  “Survivor”, I can’t imagine life without you.

For fourteen years and twenty-nine seasons, I have never missed a minute of the groundbreaking, “social experiment” that swept the nation back in the summer of 2000. I have had hundreds, if not thousands of conversations with family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and complete strangers revolving around the most recent episode or season. Some conversations had with people of similar viewpoints often cause my love and admiration for them to blossom. Adversely, there have been conversations that left me wondering why I have ever been friends with this person in the first place.

With all this being said, I have decided to begin sharing my thoughts publically for all to see/share/discuss. However, since I am a countdown specialist, rather than writing an everyday ho-hum, run of the mill, recap of the show, this blog will be dedicated to counting down my favorite contestants, and sharing my opinions of them throughout the season.  Each week I will rank all the remaining contestants and share with you why I love or inevitably despise them so much.  

Without further ado, I share with you my countdown of the cast of “Survivor: San Juan Del Sur.”

18. John “Wetland” Rocker - One would think that if former Atlanta Braves pitcher, John Rocker, the oft referred to “racist, homophobic, bigot”, wanted to repair his tarnished image with America, going on Survivor may be a good platform to do so. So far, not only has Mr. Rocker not made me think any different of him, but now, I will add the adjectives boring, and crotchety to his title. The only thing that impressed me about Mr. John “Wetland” boring, crotchety, homophobic, racist, bigot, Rocker, was the way that he literally threw his teammates up the wall during the immunity challenge. And, of course, his girlfriend, Julie. Knowing how much Jeff Probst loves calling alpha males by their last name, I can only imagine how pained he must be on the inside to not be able to refer to John as “Rocker.” I am guaranteeing Probst says “Rocker” at least 6 times at the live finale.

17. Nadiya (AKA Twinnie #1) - The second I heard the Amazing Race "Twinnies" would be on Survivor, I predicted that at least one of them would be gone within the first two weeks. Maybe even both. I’m hard pressed to remember many people that dug themselves into a bigger hole post-immunity challenge, than Nadiya. To be fair, even if she did not call her male tribe member that was the deciding vote a “girl” because he is homosexual, she still could have been voted off. However, she certainly did herself no favors, and if she did not open her loud mouth, she may have had a chance to Survive for a few more weeks. Instead, she now goes down in reality TV history as being the only person in the entire world to be the first person eliminated from the Amazing Race, AND the first person voted off of Survivor. Somewhere even Francesca, who was voted off Survivor first BOTH times she played, is laughing at Nadiya for being so bad at Reality TV. I was back and forth with her and Rocker for least favorite, but I do love a good margarita, and anytime margarita talk can be incorporated in tribal councils, it can’t be ignored.

16. Drew - I have a strong feeling that Drew, the older, and questionably wiser brother of Alec, is in for an uphill battle on his “blue” tribe. If only there were some Europeans on his tribe that knew how much of a (not HUGE), but pretty big deal model he was in Europe, maybe he would have found himself beating off his tribemates (that wanted to align with him) with a stick. I also have a prediction that his shelter that he took charge of building will last about as long as piggy number one’s straw house in the classic 3 Little Pigs fairy tale. I fear that Drew may not last long enough for me to begin liking his carefree, laid-back, personality that I appreciate, and look for when choosing friends in real life.

15. Wes - I originally thought that Wes’s dad, Keith, was being hard on his son when, four minutes into the episode, he told his son that he was about “as mentally strong as that rock”, but halfway through the episode I realized that maybe Keith was being a bit generous with his son’s mental capability. When pressing John for his last name because he recognized him as “someone he has seen on TV before,” (ummmmmm, Keith and Wes have a TV?) his first question in his impromptu game of 20 Questions was “Does it have 5 letters?” mistakenly thinking that Rocker had only five letters. Realizing his blunder, he kept pressuring Rocker until he finally caved and admitted that he was, indeed, the asshole that is hated by all of America. Wes, agreed to Rocker’s plea to stay hush hush about the secret because Wes could relate to Mr. Rocker because, you know, he too, use to play baseball.

14. Missy - No offense what-so-ever to anyone that has been divorced three times, as I am sure you are a lovely person. But, a word of advice, if you introduce yourself to people, and that is one of the first things you tell people, they mayyyyyyyyyyyyy mistakenly assume that you are a raging bitch and no human can deal with you for longer than a few years. But what do I know? Other than the fact that her 20 year old daughter Baylor, is basically the adult in the relationship, and she has been divorced three times, the only thing I learned about her is that she was very concerned with the stability of the “shelter” that Drew was “building.” Maybe she is planning on looking for husband #4 in San Juan Del Sur, and wants to make sure that all accommodations are up to par in case she wanted to “test the waters” before saying “I Do” again.

13. Natalie (AKA. Twinnie #2) - I have to admit that I am actually a little bit exciting to get to know Natalie/Nadiya without Natalie/Nadiya around. I am curious to see how Natalie will interact with other human beings besides her clone. I feel as though I could actually start to like her, because what I despise most about the twinnies is their bickering and arguing and their voices and their whining and their accents and their loud, abrasive personalities. Hopefully Natalie can have a personality of her own now, which I actually think I will enjoy. They seem like fun girls to party with, and I imagine them to be able to throw a few back with the best of them. My kind of girls.

         

         So, while I am excited that one twinnie is gone, I am devastated that it happened before the impending loved one jousting competition which I would have paid good money to hear Probst’s commentary. “Natalie NAILS Nadiya in the head. Or was that Nadiya that smashed Natalie in the head?” “NADIYA wins a point for the blue team!!! Oh, nevermind, that was Natalie!! Natalie wins a point for the blue team!!!!!”  I fear that we missed quite a grudge match by voting Nadiya out at the first tribal. A full fledged, hair-pulling, eye-gouging, grudge match between the most famous Sri Lankan twinnies of all time.

12. Reed - Reed was pretty much non-existent in episode one, BUT, we learned that he is amazing at at least one thing: Rocks, Paper, Scissors. I have always prided myself on my ability to demolish at RPS, but this guy, comes right in, and blows old man Dale right out of the water. Throwing a rock on your first shoot? This guy knows what he is doing. I can’t help but wonder if his strategy would have changed if the all important rock-paper-scissor game was two out of three, and the world may never know. Seriously Survivor, you really dropped the ball on some great TV by only making the RPS game best of one. Who the hell plays best of one Rock Paper Scissors??? If his Survivor game play is even a fraction of what his RPS game is, my money is on this dude to take home the title of Sole Survivor, and the $1,000,000 that goes along with it.

11. Alec - The younger, and apparently less attractive brother of European Top Model Drew, seems to have a much better grasp on this game. The bro vs. bro game is on, and while I am predicting a Drew victory in the jousting match, I would bet my bottom dollar that Alec wins the war, and outlasts his evidently devilishly handsome broski. Alec should fit right in on the “orange” tribe, because they will more than likely just vote off all the OLD people. I mean, who in their right mind would want an old, decrepit, thirty-something on their Survivor tribe? Or even worse, the elderly, useless, 55 year old Dale. The horror!

10. Dale - The only thing I could think about when old man Dale saved the day and broke his glasses in order to start a fire for the young beautiful people, is the classic quote, from the even more classic film, Dumb and Dumber. “Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.”

          Unfortunately for Dale, I think his time may be short lived because of his    aforementioned age and painfully obvious inability to bond with the youth of America. Even his young, pretty daughter decided she didn’t want to hang with him for a few years. Until, of course, he was needed to help her get on Survivor. If, however, he did indeed find the “hidden” immunity idol, but does not even realize it because of his voluntary blindness, it will be one of the greatest, and saddest things that have ever happend on the show.

9. Jeremy - Right out of the gate I liked this guy. I was impressed by his competitiveness and the fact that he was willing to do anything to win, even if it meant his wife had to lose. His post victory emotions showed us that despite demolishing his wife in the first challenge, all but ruining her game, he has a good heart and feels bad about the situation. I too, am extremely competitive, and would have no problem beating a loved one in a challenge. But, I would be an emotional basketcase if was the reason that my wife had to live on a deserted island alone with no shelter, no food, and a strange old man.

What I disliked about Jeremy is how concerned he was about his “friends” back home. In his first shirtless, overly-erotic-positioning-on-the-rocks confessional, he tells the camera that he is nervous about his friends killing him because he cried on the show. I would have just chalked this up as a tough, Boston firefighter being slightly embarrassed about showing his emotions, but I am not 100% certain that Jeremy was not serious. On a related note: Has anyone heard from Jeremy since the episode premiered?

I am nervous that Jeremy may be playing too hard, too quickly. Day one alliances on Survivor have had some pretty good track records, but they have also failed miserably, and typically the ring leader will be the first of the group to get the boot.

8. Kelley - I am pretty sure that Kelley is on the show. I vaguely remember Jeremy pulling her in and asking her to join his alliance as she was carrying a few sticks, presumably to accomplish her assigned task of tending to the fire.

The first episode left me with some questions that I would like answered ASAP, but the numero uno thing that I MUST find out before the season ends is why Kelley and her father, blind farmer Dale, did not talk for a few years. And I want, and frankly feel as though I deserve, every last juicy detail. Until then, I will take the side of the hot blonde in the bikini and assume that Dale is a prick.

7. Keith - Apparently the Einstein of the family, Keith is the father of dumb-as-a-rock Wes.  Even though, when introducing themselves to the group, after Probst pointed to them and demanded “You two, in the camo, what are your names?” Keith said “Wes, and Keith, father and son.”  (and pointed to his son when he said father, and pointed to himself when he said son.) Close enough dude. Close enough.

Keith, however, delivered my favorite quote of the episode. When forced on exile island with Val, he admitted to Val that he, too, was a firefighter, just like her husband, Jeremy. Val, clearly in disbelief, exclaimed “GET OUT!” as just about every normal person mutters when they hear some heavy news. Without skipping a beat, Keith yells back to her “GET IN!” I have never heard anyone respond that way, and I instantly promised myself that for the rest of my life, whenever anyone says “GET OUT” to me, I will respond even louder, and with more gumption, GET IN!

6. Julie - I suppose I liked Julie about as much as I could possibly like anyone in a committed relationship with John Rocker. She seems to be a strong-minded, tough chick, but with a soft tender side. I briefly looked at the contestants CBS bios, and her favorite previous castaway of all time is also my favorite castaway of all time; the one and only Colleen Haskell. If this chick turns out to be ANYTHING like Colleen Haskell I will eat my socks, but I digress.

She admitted that she doesn't want to be remembered as Julie, with the big hair, and big boobs, and John Rocker’s girlfriend. Don’t worry Julie, that would never happen. I have no idea what your hair even looks like.

5. Jaclyn - Jaclyn’s biggest fear is that people will look at her and her boyfriend Jon and think, “oh, look at them they are the perfect couple.” Only time will tell if they are the perfect couple, but after episode one, they are by far my favorite couple. The are good looking, attractive, ummmmmm,easy on the eyes, and, ummmmmmm, nice to look at.

Soon maybe I could possibly be a bit shallow, but I look forward to seeing her personality come out. Unfortunately, it looks as though Jaclyn and Jon may both be on the outs as far as alliances in their tribe are concerned. I’m hoping at least one of them can survive long enough to make it to the merge and do some damage. If not, I hope Jaclyn continues to wear as little clothing as possible until her upcoming, predictable tribal council send off.

4. Val - If I were to ever commit a crime in Massachusettes, I would be sure that Val is on duty, and I would be sure that I was around plenty of logs, or things that I could climb on to ensure that I could get away from police woman, Val. Not only was she humiliated by losing to her uber competitive husband, Jeremy. But she also had the added pressure of Probst screaming at her “LET’S GO WOMAN!” as she was attempting to throw herself over the logs in the first challenge of the season. Needless to say, she lost. Like her husband, I admire her competitiveness and her fearlessness, and I think, like Cirie, if she can survive a few more weeks, she can make it to the very end of this game.

Val must have not seen many seasons of Survivor though, because she is under the belief that if she forms an all girl alliance, it will be some sort of history for Survivor. Umm, ok? Survivor: Amazon? Survivor Micronesia? Survivor One World? Parvati Shallow’s heart must have skipped a beat when she heard that joke of a conversation.

3. Baylor - I am going out on a limb and predicting Baylor as the sole Survivor this year. Not only because I have her in the office pool, but because she reminds me of Ciera from the original Blood Vs. Water. Like Ciera, she will almost certainly be voting off her mother, should her mother survive until the merge. She may even be good enough of a player to get her mother to the final three, that is if her mother doesn’t decide to get married to a cameraman, or local San Juan Del Sur’ian before the final tribal council even takes place. As of right now though, this game is Baylor’s to lose.

2. Josh - First the guy gets crabs, then he gets some sort of eye poisoning for the entire first three days. What an up and down first episode for Josh. If his eyes can stay clean, and if he doesn’t  get too caught up in the middle of the men and woman, Josh, along with Baylor, should dominate this tribe. I do wish that Josh called out Nadiya on her amazing ability to be so ignorant, but for his game, it was probably best that he stayed calm and let the loudmouth be voted off.  It sap eyes can stay uninjured, I see this guy going very far, and deservingly so.

1. Jon - If I could choose who I wanted to win right now, it would HANDS DOWN be this guy. He just seems like a normal, cool, down-to-Earth dude. Not only does Jon have a major cause for concern about his girlfriend being voted off sooner, rather than later,  he also has the added stress of having his cancer-ridden father fighting for his life at home. I am pulling for Jon, his father, his girlfriend, his dog, his cat, or whatever the hell else is important to him. He is strong enough to make the merge, and likable enough to not get voted off post merge. Let’s just hope he is smart enough to make some new alliances, in his already heavily aligned tribe.

PICK TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 1 - BAYLOR

WANT TO WIN AFTER EPISODE 1 - JON

THINK IS NEXT TO BE VOTED OFF - JACLYN

WANT TO BE VOTED OFF NEXT - ROCKER

WANT TO GET A BEER WITH - JON. AND HIS FAMILY.

40 Favorite Killers Songs

         In honor of the great Casey Kasem, countdown legend, going missing, and also to honor my favorite band, The Killers (whose concert I will be attending tonight), I have decided to throw together a quick TOP 40 Countdown of my favorite Killers songs to date.

Due to time restraints, I will not be writing a lengthly review of each song. You can, however, fully expect every one of these songs to be included in my Top 1000 favorite songs of all time countdown, which is scheduled to be released at some point in 2014.

*Disclaimer* This countdown will include only songs that have been included on the albums Hot Fuss, Sam's Town, Sawdust, Day & Age, Battle Born, and Direct Hits. It will not include Brandon Flowers' solo work, or the annual Killers Christmas songs, all of which are countdown worthy.




40. Bling (Confessions of a King) - Sam's Town 
A story of how Brandon's father went cold turkey on Alcoholism and Catholicism and turned to Mormonism.

39. This is Your Life - Day & Age
Candy, who formally went by the name of Jackie, has dabbled with too much drugs and/or prostitution, and suddenly realizes that she isn't living quite the life she had always imagined.

38. Smile Like You Mean It - Hot Fuss
Attempting to come to terms with becoming old.

37. Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf- Sawdust
The song is part of the murder trilogy along with "Midnight Show" and "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" about the murder of a girl names Jennifer.  During "Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf" Jenny and her "friend" get into a big fight and break up. He allegedly offs her during "Midnight Show" and denies it during "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine." Legendary.

36. Uncle Johnny - Sam's Town
About Brandon Flowers uncle, appropriately named Johnny. He was addicted to cocaine, and thought aliens were going to come down and steal his semen. To avoid this, he attempted to shoot himself in the testicles in the bathtub, but fortunately missed, and he shot himself right in the groin. He is much better now.

35. On Top - Hot Fuss
It's Imagine Dragon's "On Top of the World" older brother.

34. Under the Gun - Sawdust
The refrain of the song is this.... "kill me now, kill me now, kill me now, kill me now..... kill me now, kill me now, kill me now, kill me now."
But, somehow,  I can not help but have a smile on my face every single time I hear it. It is such a happy little ditty.

33. I Can't Stay - Day & Age
More than likely, this is about being on the road, and the joy Flowers experiences when he returns to his home. "There is a majesty at my doorstep. There's a little boy in her arms."

32. Here With Me - Battle Born
About wanting someone back in your life. The video is fantastically bizarre.

31. Show You How - Sawdust
I don't care what the song is about because I'm obsessed with the fact that it starts with a message Brandon left on his bandmates voicemail (when he had the idea for the song.) That is how they shared ideas with each other when they were not physically together. Pretty rad.


30. The Ballad of Michael Valentine  - Sawdust
My favorite song on Sawdust. 
Valentine was a professional poker player based in Vegas and formally in a band with Killer's drummer Ronnie Vannucci. Vannuccci then found success with The Killers and Valentine may have been a bit bitter. Regardless, Flowers found something interesting about Valentine to write this killer (pun intended) song.

29. Heart of a Girl - Battle Born
The story of Brandon and his wife, and about how she has stuck behind him during all the craziness of being a rock star.


28. Carry Me Home - Battle Born
An extra track about loving someone, but not being totally in love. But if you would like to think that it is about getting really drunk and needing someone to carry you home, that will work too.


27. Miss Atomic Bomb - Battle Born
Is there any way that a Mr. Brightside sequel could be anything but awesome?

"Miss Atomic Bomb goes back to the same cheating woman presented in their previous hit “Mr. Brightside”. Brandon Flowers looks back at the memory of when they met. The song goes from a nostalgic perspective to the current moment, after breaking up with her, and shows the consequences, comparing them to an atomic blast.
In the 1950s, nuclear tests were being done in Nevada’s desert, and there was a place for the crowd to watch, through sunglasses. They organized a beauty pageant named “Miss Atomic Bomb”, and they took a picture that ended up in Brandon Flower’s hands. He liked the power of the name and inspired him to revisit the woman from “Mr. Brihgtside” and the effect she had on him."

26. Losing Touch - Day & Age

There are many people I know that are totally out of touch with reality. This song is for them. You know who you are, you crazy loons.

25. Andy, You're a Star - Hot Fuss

About a guy Brandon went to high school with; the star athlete. Apparently Andy was mean to Brandon, and this is Brandon's sarcastic response to Andy being a grade "A" dick. 

24. From Here on Out - Battle Born

From Mr. Flowers himself regarding "From Here on Out."

"Country is at it's best when there's a struggle, a couple of broken hearts, or a lot of pain... country is at it's best when there's a fly in the ointment, a serpent in the garden or a little piece of glass hidden in the grass [Morrissey reference]. Country is at it's best when somebody has done somebody wrong, and somebody did me wrong, and that's what inspired this next song."

It's about a betrayal, the first verse is about the betrayal itself, the chorus is about the affect it had on him - making him more pessimistic, less trustworthy, shifting his paradigm of life. The latter verses are about looking back on it, "should our paths ever decide to cross, you may wonder what the trouble cost", and eventually letting go of it "Hallelujah, the troubles gone, no sense in holding grudges..."

23. My List - Sam's Town

I do not know or care what this song is about. I love lists. And Brandon Flowers.

Fine. It's about Brandon's wife. "You should have known by now, you were on my list." Congrats Brandon. Cross that one off your list. 

22. Jenny Was a Friend of Mine - Hot Fuss

A boy was accused of killing his ex girlfriend, Jenny. He denied it saying "there ain't no motive for this crime, cuz' Jenny was a friend of mine." 

As mentioned earlier, this is part of the murder trilogy. We never find out if the narrator of the song was found guilty of the crime, but I feel strongly that he didn't do it. They were friends! It says so right in the title.

21. Sam's Town - Sam's Town

Sam's Town is a casino in Henderson/Vegas where Flowers is from and loves with all his heart.

He mentions in the song his grandma Dixie's wake, which was Brandon's first real experience with death. This was my ring tone for a few years. I am not too sure why, but I loved it.

20. Bones - Sam's Town

"A sweet and twisted romance." - B. Flowers

AMAZING VIDEO

19. Just Another Girl - Direct Hits

About a guy that has a very difficult time dealing with a break up and doesn't want to listen to anybody else about how there are plenty of fish in the sea.

"All of my friends say, I should move on. She's just another girl." .......

"Well maybe all of my friends should confront, the fact that I don't want...... another girl."

One of the two new tracks on last year's Direct Hits, "Just Another Girl" is a welcomed addition to The Killers' catalogue.

The video includes scenes and props from every video the band has released. It is like a ten year anniversary celebration.

18. Change Your Mind - Hot Fuss

I change my mind more than anybody I know. I am pretty sure I am the most indecisive human being alive. 

17. This River is Wild - Sam's Town

Flowers was born in Vegas, moved to Utah around 8 or so, and then had the itch to move back to Vegas. This presumably is about the excitement surrounding the idea of leaving Utah to return to Vegas.

16. Prize Fighter - Battle Born

An extra track on Battle Born, and quite possibly my favorite "deluxe edition only" track of all time. It is an absolute shame that cheap bastards that wouldn't spring for the deluxe edition did not get to enjoy this gem.

15. Neon Tiger - Day & Age

Rumor has it that this song is about the "myth of Vegas." I have no idea what that means, and I could not care any less. It could literally be about a fictional neon tiger and I would still get pumped up every time I heard it. 

14. Somebody Told Me - Hot Fuss

The song that started it all. I have a love/hate relationship with the song. I obviously love it, because I love everything by The Killers, but I dislike the fact that it is one of their most well known songs. To me, it is just vastly different from most of their other work. With that being said. It is certainly one of the biggest songs of the decade, and deservingly so.

13. The Way It Was - Battle Born

"If I go on, with you by my side, can it be the way it was when we met. Did you forget all about those golden nights?"

Interpretation: I will get back together with you, but only if you are cool again. You totally turned into a bitch and that is why I broke up with you.

12. Shot at the Night - Direct Hits

NCAA basketball fans (men's basketball, obviously) will recognize this song as the theme to this past years tournament. You know, because the word "shot" is in the title of the song. 

If this video doesn't make you want to book a flight to Vegas and almost run somebody over in your car while driving down the strip, I don't know what will. 

11. Human - Day & Age

This is why Brandon Flowers is my favorite person of all time. 

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Flowers said that he was irritated over the confusion about the lyrics and also that fans were unhappy with the song's dance beat: "It's supposed to be a dance song, [the beat] goes with the chorus...If you can't put that together, you're an idiot. I just don't get why there's a confusion about it."

10. Battle Born - Battle Born

Ho.Ly. Shit. This song is EPIC. Purely epic. It was the last track on their last album. Hardly anybody knows it, and that makes me very, very sad.

9. Spaceman - Day & Age

This song all but convinced me to include "get abducted by aliens" at the top of my bucket list.

Maybe someday (fingers crossed.)

8. When You Were Young - Sam's Town

"The song is about the idea that saviours can come in different forms." 

Any song in which my favorite mortal person of all time gives a shot out to my favorite immortal person of all time (Jesus) is an instant classic in my book.

7. Runaways - Battle Born

I may throw my shoulder out of my socket fist pumping to this song, but it will be totally worth it. 

6. Read My Mind - Sam's Town

Brandon Flowers considers it the greatest song they have ever written. And considers the album the greatest album in there past twenty years. I agree with everything he says. 

5. Why Do I Keep Counting? - Sam's Town
Flowers is TERRIFIED of flying. This is his acceptance of that fear.
If you have a fear of flying, or if you do not have a fear of flying, or if you have never flown before, listen to this song and prepared to have your mind blown.

4. For Reasons Unknown - Sam's Town
There is no reason known to man that you can possibly give me for not thinking this is one of the greatest songs of all time. In fact, if you can seriously tell me you think this song is not amazing, I will punch you in the face, for reason's made abundantly clear; you're an idiot.

3. A Dustland Fairytale - Day & Age

My favorite love song ever written. It is about Brandon's parents, and his mother passing away a few years back from cancer.

This is my favorite late night musical performance of all time.

2. All These Things That I've Done - Hot Fuss

I have the lyrics tattooed to my body. Need I say more?

1. Mr. Brightside - Hot Fuss
I do not take pride in the fact that their biggest hit is my favorite song of theirs, but I could listen to this song on repeat for the rest of my life and die a happy man. Not that I want to die any time soon, but if I did, I would look on the bright side and be happy that I could die while enjoying my favorite song of all time.

Favorite Game Shows of All Time (25-21)

25. What Would You Do? (1991-1993) NICK - What Would You Do? is the only show on the countdown that I was unsure if I should include on the countdown due to the fact that it is more of a variety show than a game show. After much deliberation, I decided that the kids on the show did, in fact, play games, so I allowed myself to include the classic Nickelodeon show that I adored so much. I have no idea why I was so addicted to it, but all I could think about while watching it was somehow getting a chance to be in the audience or on the show. I believe that my family and I went to Disney World two times while the show was airing, and since 11 year old Ryan had the attention span of a monkey, I completely forgot to hound my parents to take me to Universal Studios to fulfill my life dream.

24. Twenty-One (1956-1958, 2000) CBS/NBC - No, Twenty-One did not make the countdown just because it is my favorite number. I obviously never watched the 1950's version of the show, but the 2000 version was a huge hit with college Ryan. I obviously did not watch much TV during my college years, but I distinctly remember many of us piling into my tiny bedroom and finished off a few 30 packs while watching the hour long Twenty-One.
Twenty-One (the 1950's version) is responsible for one of, if not THE, most notorious controversy in the history of American television. It turns out that the game show was rigged and the incident nearly ruined the idea of American Game Shows. The movie Quiz Show is about the events of the 1950's Twenty-One bombshell.

I am not too sure why, but I find this terrifying.

23. Shop Til' You Drop (1991-1994, Lifetime 1996-1998, Family Channel 2000-2005 PAX)
Who doesn't love a great episode of Shop Til' You Drop? This is one of those shows that is so completely mindless that if you are lucky to be a contestant on the show and LOSE then you should be humiliated to show your face in public for at least a few years. How bad do you have to be at shopping and running up and down stairs to lose at Shop Til You Drop? Also, Shop Til' You Drop is responsible for what I consider to be the most humiliating contestant of all time. Once the couple beat their opponents by knowing that Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz was played by Judy Garland, they went on to the bonus round. Here, it was the HUSBAND that opened up the gift boxes and suggested to the wife if they should keep the gift or return. Then the WIFE had to run up and down the stairs and carry all the heavy boxes. Seriously, has anyone ever seen an episode of Shop Til' You Drop where the husband opens the boxes? Well, I have, and let me tell you, it was unbelievable.

This is not the husband opening the boxes episode, but they are quite possibly the most excited Drop contestants ever. And they are not a married or dating couple? In fact, she is married and he has a girlfriend. I had no idea that was even legal on Shop Til' You Drop.



22. STUDS (1991-1993) STUDS was The Dating Game for cool people. I remember it used to come on real late at night and it was probably a little inappropriate for me to be watching, but I suppose I turned out just fine, so whatever. The show featured two guys (The Studs) that each got to go on a blind date with the same three women (the studettes.) At the end of the game the girls picked a Stud, and each Stud picked a studette. I was always so embarrassed for the girl that nobody choose, but I am sure it was just because she was either annoying, obnoxious, or maybe even disgusting.
Not only was Tami from the The Real World: LA on the show (WHILE SHE WAS ON THE REAL WORLD) seriously, she was on a reality show and a game show at the same time, but also Ron Goldman was a Stud three years before some random man murdered him and OJ Simpson's Ex wife.

21. Tic Tac Dough (1956-1959 NBC, 1978-1986 CBS, 1990-1991) About 28 years ago my brother and I (then ages 4 and 7) were obsessed with Tic Tac Dough..... Let me rephrase that, we were obsessed with a contestant on Tic Tac Dough. At the ages of 4 and 7 we knew that this guy was something special. He is still, to this day, without question, one of the greatest contestants on any game show in the history of television; Kit Salisbury. Below is a clip of Kit and his final moment on Tic Tac Dough

This was, by far, the saddest moment in 4 year old Ryan's life up until this time. I had to say goodbye to my dear friend, Kit.

 

Kit Salisbury: A true game show legend.  



Favorite Game Shows of All Time #30 - 26

30. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (1991-1995) PBS - On air for a whopping five seasons, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? is the second longest running children's game show in U.S. television history (only Double Dare has it beat.) Not only did kids find the show entertaining, but tired, over-worked parents, could feel justified for plopping their children in front of a television and consider watching Sandiego learning (which reminds me, I need to go to ebay and buy every season of this show on DVD so I no longer have to teach Social Studies.)

I would be great at this show today seeing as I have a degree in Social Studies, and have taught Middle School Geography for years, but I'm pretty sure 11 year old Ryan would not have answered one question correctly unless it was "This is the home of Mickey Mouse."


29. Fear Factor (2001-2006, 2011) NBC - Much like Wipeout, Fear Factor is a show that gets pretty old after a while. Fear Factor, however, was the very first show of its kind and deserves recognition for that. How many times though, are we expected to watch someone eat a scorpion or drive a car over a ramp and have the car land upside down? I have to admit after the show had been off the air for almost 6 years I was a tiny bit excited for its return in December of last year. I successfully watched one episode and the same feeling of "been there done that" returned as if the show never left. I am now fairly confident that I will never watch another episode of Fear Factor for the rest of my life unless someone I know is on the show or one of the tasks revolves around physically injuring Joe Rogan.

You have to be in some deep credit card dept to do something like this for $25,000

28. Legends of the Hidden Temple (1993-1995) OK, I will now admit that I am actually a tiny bit embarrassed about having this show so high on my list. Looking back at the days when I use to literally run to the television to tune in, I imagine me being a hell of a lot younger than 13-15 years old. Apparently I was taking drivers ed while still loving Legends of the Hidden Temple. What in the world is wrong with me? Seriously?

Whatever. I never claimed to be perfect. Everyone has their guilty pleasure and apparently mine was being half way through high school and watching 11 year olds compete on a Nickelodeon game show. I often get mad at myself for how pathetic I was as a kid, and this is one of those times. I think I may need to start thinking about quitting this blog.

Since I have had an unhealthy and (to be quite honest) abnormal obsession with the color blue for just about my entire life, I obviously rooted for the Blue Barracudas to win every single episode, and more often then not, they were eliminated on the very first event. In that instance, the Orange Iguanas were my trusty backup, and if they got eliminated I just cheered on whoever was up against the Red Jaguars because I hate the color red. I know, I was as strange as a child (well, apparently teenager) as I am today.

*** Just found this interesting fact****

A journalist at West Boca Raton High School wrote an article in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel about how high school students had fond memories for Nickelodeon shows including Legends.^[31] According to a 2007 poll in the Springfield, Illinois State Journal-Register, ten percent of respondents said that Legends was their "favorite 'old school' Nickelodeon show."^[32] Legends served as a theme for Cornell's 2008 Greek Week.^[33] In April 2009, Walnut Creek, California made Legends the theme of its "Kids' Night Out" program.^[34]

So, I suppose I am just as mature as ten percent of the high school students in Springfield, IL. I'll take it.

An uncharacteristically good "Blue Barracuda" team. And let me just say if my child was on the "Silver Snakes" in the trivia round I would be humiliated by them, and punish them severely.

27.Deal or No Deal (2005-2009) NBC - For most of this countdown I have had extreme opinions on how successful I would be if I were to be a contestant on any given game show. I am fairly confident that Deal or No Deal would be my least successful attempt on any game show. There is not a chance that I would ever take the deal. I would be the least interesting contestant the show has ever seen because I would more than likely wear a shirt that had a "21" on it (my favorite number) and would not even care what case I opened because I would never not take whatever was in case 21. I may even just open box 1-26 in order, or simply tell Howie that I am going to take case 21 no matter what you offer me, just open the box now.

I have had the pleasure of playing Deal or No Deal at various casinos, and let's just say, that I am a pretty good case picker. There is one major issue on the gambling machines, however, and that is that the games usually only go up to 20 and I am forced to choose either case 5 or case 18 (my second and third favorite numbers respectively.) Talk about stress. So much for my favorite numbers of all time countdown:(

Deal or No Deal.

26. Finders Keepers (1987-1989) NICK - No, I am not embarrassed about placing Finders Keepers at number 26, and the reason is that I was 7-9 years of age when it was on, and that is quite age appropriate if you ask me. I do have to admit that I would probably still tune in every now and then if Finders Keepers was still available for our viewing pleasure.

The game show pitted teams of 2 children against each other and they had to find things. I suppose I didn't care too much for the beginning of the game, but let me tell you, nine year old Ryan would do some awful things if he had to in order to participate in the final round; the "Room to Room Romp." Some kids have all the luck.

I am actually laughing out loud right now because I just got an imagine of myself, as a grown man, playing Finders Keepers and completely destroying the house. A man can dream, can't he?



Favorite Game Shows of All Time (35-31)

35. Chain Reaction (1980, 1986-1991 - NBC / 2006-2007 - GSN) Chain Reaction may be one of the most underrated shows on the countdown. The concept is simple; so simple that it is almost insulting, but, as easy as the show seems, I could never get enough of it. Here is an example of a particularly simple "puzzle" on Chain Reaction.

FINAL
FOUR
SQUARE
DANCE
PARTY
TIME
TRAVEL
GUIDE
Even if the puzzle looked like this (below) I am still confident that I would be able to solve the entire round in one guess.

Final
F
S
D
P
T
T
Guide

There. How difficult was that, stupid Chain Reaction contestants.

I remember how mad I use to get when contestants screwed up the simple puzzles with totally ridiculous guesses. Chain Reaction pitted teams of 3 guys against 3 girls, and this is yet another example of a game in which I would not allow myself to play, even if the casting directors begged me to participate on the show. If one of my teammates could not figure out Final FO_ _ then I don't think I would have the self control to not flip out on him live on camera. It always blew my mind when contestants would laugh it off when their trusty teammate lost the game (or even one round) for the team. NO! No, it is not OK that you couldn't solve the "puzzle" Tooth Bru__. I don't care how many cameras were in my face or how many thousands (let's be honest, its the game show network) of people were watching me at home, Helen Keller would even be able to detect the look of utter disgust on my face, and our friendship would surely be all but over thanks to Chain Reaction.

But, I certainly did love watching, and hope, someday, it will return to our television screens with a new batch of foolish men and women.

This puzzle is not as easy as my example, but still, all 6 of these contestants are terrible. What in the world is the casting process like to get on this show? At one point the puzzle was actually solved and all the girl had to do was read it and still got it wrong. I need to move on because I can feel my blood pressure starting to rise.



34. Wipeout (2008-Present) ABC - Now, a game show where having brains is actually frowned upon during the casting process, Wipeout. Now Wipeout is a show that I loved for the first season, enjoyed the second season, and probably will never watch again. I understand that the show has changed some obstacles, and at least tries to stay current, but it is just difficult for me to sit for an hour and watch the same thing over and over again. Also, I despise when any game show contestant seems to be acting, or putting on a show for the cameras, and Wipeout is chuck full of contestants that are way over the top to try to be funny or endearing.
Also, I am not too sure if they still have the big red balls, but how many contestants do you have to watch plummet into the water before you learn that you will not get to the other side by running across them. I must have seen at least 100 Wipeout contestants attempt to run across the big red balls, and I think one successfully got to the other side. One. Doesn't that tell you that you maybe should try something different?
Again, Wipeout is yet another game show that I have no desire to be a part of. My ego has me convinced that there is no way I would not win the $25,000 but the people at Wipeout are much more concerned with making people laugh then they are with finding someone that could potentially win the show. And lets be honest here; it is MUCH more funny to watch a 200lb lady smash their heads on big red balls and tumble into the water than it is to watch a 150lb man do the same. Wipeout would want absolutely nothing to do with me:(

99 epic failures, 1 lucky success. Just jump in the water and swim people, it will be much quicker.



33. Fun House (1988-1991) FOX - Here is a show that is bound to make anybody in their late twenties to mid thirties feel even older than they already feel, JD Roth's classic kids game show, Fun House. I don't believe you if you remember this show and say that you being on it was not one of your dreams. I was so jealous of the Fun House contestants and would have given anything to be able to compete in the final round and run through that fake cardboard house of nothing but pure fun.

Here is a little clip to refresh your pathetic, old, shriveling mind.

I love how the kids were so terrible in the final round that JD Roth was just telling them where to look. What a nice guy JD Roth is. A little known fact about JD Roth is that he is the co-creator of "The Biggest Loser" and also the announcer. On second thought, if you did not know that about JD Roth then you clearly are not as big of a fan of him as I am. JD Roth is now 42 years old. If you will please excuse me, I am now going to throw up and cry myself to sleep because everyone is so old.



32. Dog Eat Dog (2002-2003) NBC - Like almost every game show here in the US, we stole Dog Eat Dog from another country; inm this case, the UK. Dog Eat Dog was hosted by Brook Burns, which means it automatically got a spot on the countdown. Other than Burns, I loved the elimination part of Dog Eat Dog which sent the pathetic losers to the "dog pound." Just when they thought their dream on winning $$$ on Dog Eat Dog was over, they were awarded the opportunity to steal the cash from the sole remaining contestant if said contestant got a stupid trivia question wrong. It seemed awfully unfair to me, but nevertheless, I really dug the show. Get it, dogs dig and I said "I dug the show."

Brooke Burns may be the worst host of all time, but nobody, including NBC cared to notice whatsoever.

31. Pyramid
* $10,000 Pyramid (1973-1974) CBS, (1974-1976) ABC
* $20,000 Pyramid (1976-1980) ABC
* $25,000 Pyramid (1974-1979) Weekly Syndication
* $50,000 Pyramid (1981) Daily Syndication
* The (New) $25,000 Pyramid (1982-1988)
* The $100,000 Pyramid (1985-1988, 1991) Daily Syndication
* Pyramid (2002-2004) Daily Syndication

Call it what you want. You know it. You loved it. You tried to play along at home and tried not to look at the bottom of the screen, but you always gave in and looked at the answer at the bottom of the screen. Its, Pyramid!!!!!!!!!!!! or $10,000 Pyramid!!!!!!!!!! or $20,000 Pyramid!!!!!!!!! or $25,000 Pyramid!!!!!!!! etc. I was going to write all of the titles, but got real tired of having to hit the italics button every time I wanted to type the name of the show and hit it again every time I needed to type "or."
For some reason I could not wait until this show would come on every day after school. I don't think I ever successfully played the game without cheating, but it was still fun to watch the contestants bond with their partner only to have them compete with their opponents the very next round. It seemed so cruel to have them switch. Imagine having Richard Simmons as your partner and he helped you get to the bonus round. You laughed with him, you cried with him, you trusted him as your only partner in the game. You loved Richard Simmons.

Then, Richard Simmons is pulled away from you and forced to work with your adversary and he is now helping HER get to the bonus round and you are stuck with Loni Anderson, who just so happens to completely SUCK at giving clues AND guessing clues.

What bunch of evil producers came up with this brutal game show?

I am just waiting for next fall when $1,000,000 Pyramid comes to NBC for the fall sweeps.

Favorite Game Shows of All Time (40 - 36)

40. Lingo (2002-2007, 2011-Present) GSN -

 "Lingo" is one of my favorite GSN game shows ever and pretty much all I hope to see when I decide to check out the Game Show Network. Not only is "Lingo" a fun game to play, it also can be quite hysterical to watch. Some of the spelling mistakes made by the contestants are jaw-droppingly amazing.
It is very easy to play along with "Lingo" at home; and quite fun too. Even though there is absolutely no need for me to spell the word out loud, I still do, just as if I am a real contestant on the show. If the puzzle looks like this.....

P_ _ _ _

all I have to do is yell out my answer of "Plant." However, just to fit in with the contestants I yell out "Plant. P.L.A.N.T" To be honest, I never really thought that was strange until now. I have been playing "Lingo" that way by myself all these years, and I am pretty sure it would be imnpossible to stop doing it, so I will continue to spell my 5 letter words out loud, all alone, with watching "Lingo."

Finally, I will put the odds at about 2% that 70 year old host Chuck Woolery and 33 year old co-host Shandi Finnessey were not having an affair. There is just about no way those two were not playing a little Lingo of their own after the cameras stopped rolling.

 
Chuck Woolery is 70. If that isn't the most depressing thing you have heard all day, then I don't know what is.

Some laugh out loud "Lingo" bloopers, and No, Cory, the hilarious episode that you had saved on your DVR for months is not included in this blooper reel. I could not find it. Sorry, I tried.



39. Say What? Karaoke (1998-2003) MTV -

"Say What? Karaoke" was a must watch show for me. Since I have won a few karaoke contests before I kick myself everytime I think of "Say What? Karaoke" and my lack of determination to get on the show when I had a chance. The music was great, the judges were usually well know, current celebrities that I appreciated, and all 4 hosts were fantastic...

* Dave Holmes, MTV VJ, walking encyclopedia for music knowledge and trivia, a true idol of mine.



* Teck Holmes, Real World Hawaii (no relation to Dave Holmes. AT ALL)


* Joey McIntyre, Yes, I get it, he was a New Kid on the Block, but I actually kind of like him and think he is a cool guy.


* Danielle Fishel, Topanga from "Boy Meets World"

I can not begin to count how many times my brother and I have done karaoke to Blink 182's "All the Small Things." It just never gets old.



38. Nick Arcade (1992-1993) Nickelodeon
 

If you watched this show, I am sure this will bring back major memories for you that I am sure you have not thought about in 20 years. "Nick Arcade" was on from 1992-1993 (I was 12-13 years old.) What more could a 12 year old boy want than to become a part of his favorite video game? Looking back now, "Nick Arcade" was possibly the cheepest game show in the history of game shows. I am pretty sure I could film an episode of "Nick Arcade" in my parents basement if I needed to.

I do not even need to say that the show is about as dated as a game show can possibly be (wait until you watch the clip below, it may literally make you cringe.) This list, however, is a list of my favorite game shows of ALL TIME and for one year in the early 90's I was in awe of this show and thought it was just about the coolest thing television had ever seen.

Check out the video below. Clearly, it did not take much to amuse me as a child.

BY FAR the worst player in the history of game shows. Seriously, this girl is THE worst game show player, on any game show, of all time. Please watch. If you do not laugh, then something is seriously wrong with you.

This was the most painful thing I have seen in a very long time. They must have only casted the dumbest kids they could possibly find.  It was so bad that I could not look away. It was actually so bad that I kind of loved it.



37. Trivial Pursuit (1993-1994) Family Channel


There are not many games that I enjoy winning more than a nice game of "Trivial Pursuit." You cannot win "Trivial Pursuit" just by having a lot of knowledge in one particular subject area; you need to have at least some basic trivia knowledge in all subject areas. I do, however, get so jealous of my competitors when they still have "Entertainment" questions that are needed to be answered. I usually am completely finished with my "Entertainment" pie pieces within seconds and am envious that I cannot answer any more music, television, or movie question. It really is not fair sometimes.

Just about every "Trivial Pursuit" game I have ever played the order in which I obtain my pie pieces is as follows...

Pink (Entertainment)
Orange (Sports and Leisure) if there is one thing I am good at besides entertainment trivia, it is leisure, and leisurely activities.
Blue (Geography) I did teach Middle School Geopgraphy for two years, and my shower curtain is a map of the world, so I should know SOMETHING right?
Brown (Art and Literature)  I do have 2 degrees in English and have taught English for 7 years, so you would think I would actually be a little bit better in this category, but, sadly, I am not that great.
Yellow (History) I have a degree in Social Studies and I taught Civics for 2 years. Why am I so bad at History?
Green (Science and Nature) - I lose. (Although I have not played "Trivial Pursuit" since I began teaching Elementary School, in which I teach Science daily, so maybe I will be much better at this category now, but I doubt it.)

Regardless of how good or bad you are at "Trivial Pursuit" it is always so much fun to play and playing in teams or with a partner is a great way to spend a night. (With a thirty pack of beers and a few bottles of wine, obviously.)
WARNING - Drinking while playing "Trivial Pursuit" with your friends in teams or pairs will ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS end in a fight. No matter how old you are, how long you have been friends, or how much of a calm, non-confrontational person you are.....

Alcohol + Trivial Pursuit = Major fight which will lead to the end of the night.

There was also a newer version of "Trivial Pursuit" called "Trivial Pursuit: America Plays" hosted by Peter Brady (Christopher Knight.) That show does not take up a spot of its own, it simply falls under the "Trivial Pursuit" umbrella. Here is a clip from the modern day version of the show.

I really want to play Trivial Pursuit now and will challenge anyone to a friendy game or two at any time. And by "friendly game" I mean play for either money or rounds of drinks. Or Itunes, Ebay, or Southwest giftcards.


36. 1 VS. 100 (2006-2008, NBC / 2010-2011, GSN)


I know that "1 Vs. 100" was not as huge of a hit as NBC expected it to be. It was by no means a flop, it just was not the breakout hit that "Millionaire" was. I LOVED the concept of 1 Vs. 100 simply because I am a man that is obsessed with elimination of any type. I loved the idea that the 100 members of the "mob" were eliminated after each question, and found it fascinating to watch the number of contestants in the mob dwindle.

The grand prize was $1,000,000 which was obtained if the single player (the 1) eliminated all 100 players in the mob. This did not happen until NBC ordered a special "Battle of the Sexes" episode of "1 Vs. 100" in which 1 female would take on 100 men (YEAH, good luck with that sweetheart) and 1 man would take on the 100 females in the mob. Not surprisingly, 21 year old Jason Luna (MALE) defeated the entire mob of 100 ladies; single-handedly proving the point I made in my last post about men being much better at trivia than women are., Thanks Jason, you're the man!


PLEASE watch the videos below. It will bring a tear to your eye. The kid is so nice, and so geeky that it is impossible to root against him. Even the ladies in the mob were cheering for the kid.

Part 1 of Jason Luna Vs. 100 Dumb Girls

Part 2 of Jason Luna Vs. 100 Women (only 23 ladies left)

Jason Luna wins $1,000,000

This seriously may be my favorite game show moment of all time. Jason, if you read this, I just want to let you know that you are my idol. Will you be my friend? Hit me up.